CollegeHumor: Class Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770212 Teamworking for the Weekend Mon, 09 Feb 2009 18:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770212 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/8/collegehumor.6eb639fd06721655a3e45cf8154fb0a4.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-02-09 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923">Andrew B.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 342 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752173 Typical Day in Class Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:34:04 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752173 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Class Begins

It may only be a 50 minute class, but there is nothing like the feeling I get right as it's about to begin. I have to take a deep breath and realize that it's the longest possible time until class is over. If we're watching a movie or something like that I'll gladly go to class with relief on my mind. Otherwise I know I'll be dealing with the typical bullsh*t I hear every day.


Inevitable Nap

I don't mean to fall asleep in class.....it's inevitable. I can get 2 hours of sleep or I can get 16 hours of sleep the night before. Either way it doesn't matter....it's near impossible to stay up and alert. Especially in the case of early morning classes. Having no more classes in the lecture halls, I tend to insult my professor's career choice by passing out during any announcements he or she may have pretty often. I just need to make sure I get the study guide for the test.....whenever that is.
Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1122501"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/2/collegehumor.94f5049cd6abd583b84f1bf2d22ed83c.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-03-31 16:34:04 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1122501">sean</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:505"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 762 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738503 Negotiations 101b Tue, 14 Aug 2007 14:00:30 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738503 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Professor: All right, I know I’ve been referencing the final exam for a while now, not telling you exactly what it is. But today I’m finally going to explain to everybody how the final works in this class.

Brian: Yeah! Tell us!

Professor: Brian, leave.

(Brian Exits)

Professor: All right. The rest of you are finally ready to know. The final in this class, is to convince me what grade you deserve on it. This is, after all, negotiations class!

(Class is silent. Stunned. Confused. Excited.)

Professor: That’s right. No questions, no answers. Just convince me of what grade you want, and we will negotiate your final score. You vs. Me. It will be worth 65% of your grade.

(Professor bites his lower lip and raises his eyebrows, knowing that he’s really cool for thinking of such an experimental concept.)

Four Weeks Later -- Finals Time
Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/f/collegehumor.7cc2e0696d5c5ce7891a75df31a50bd8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-08-14 14:00:30 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229">Amir Blumenfeld</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:217"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 30 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733313 Excerpts From A Gen Ed. Law Class Fri, 08 Jun 2007 11:35:12 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733313 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> The end of class, day one.

[upload:1483913:small:right:State school law class 101] Professor: (chuckling) And now you'll know, ladies and gentleman, the next time you get pulled over, and the police officer asks if he can search your car that you can tell him, politely of course, not without probable cause sir, I know my fourth amendment rights.

Student: (excited) Wait, so like, if my friend got pulled over and he's got like weed in the trunk and sh*t, he can tell the pigs to go to hell?

Professor: Um, well, in a way, yes.

Student: And like what if I was like selling coke and--

Professor: Why don't you save your question for another time. Have a good weekend everyone.
_____________________

Mid-class, day four

Professor: ...and according to Lochner v. New York, the right to free contract is implicit in the due process clause of the fourteenth amendment. You see, in early 20th century America--

Student: That's kinda like the time I got busted for buying E. See I used to work in this pizza place, right? My boss was this older guy, and he'd sell me some stuff sometimes. So, like, we had a contract, right? It was like a verbal contract that I'd buy E from him every week before I went out. But then one day the f*cking cops came in and busted both of us, but we had a contract so uhhhh... They were in violation of our fourteenth amendment rights, right?

Professor: Not quite. You see, the Lochner decision relates more to contracting in the sense of employment conditions, otherwise we could contract for anything and it would be legal under US law. Murder doesn't become legal if you hire an assassin either.

Student: Hey what if I'm smoking in my room, but, like, I'm just BLASTING this Moe show I downloaded and that hard-*ss RA comes in to tell me to turn down the noise, but then she see's me tokin'. What happens then?

Professor: This doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about, now please, no more interruptions.

Student: Wait, but what if ... Well, I have a  housing contract so--

Professor: No more interruptions, moving on.
Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.aefefba05adec0eb158d18dd8d36a1b2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-06-08 11:35:12 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 53 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1706602 Math Textbook Cover Brainstorm Meeting Wed, 08 Nov 2006 14:34:28 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1706602 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


Boss: Well, I've given you guys a week, what ideas do you have for the cover of "Applied Mathematics 7th edition?"

Terry: Um, okay, I'll start. How about a roller coaster amidst a setting sun?

Boss: That's unbelievably stupid. It has nothing to do with math!

Terry: Sure it does. The roller coaster represents... I dunno, equations.

Boss: Stop wasting our time, Terry. We trusted you when you came up with Ferris wheel amidst a setting sun. Nobody got it then, and nobody's getting it now. Anybody else have any bright ideas?

Mary: My four year old did this pretty neat looking water color yesterday at school.

Boss: You know what you're problem is, Mary?! You're asian.

Mary: I'm half Philipino.

Boss: Now you're half FIRED. Leave. Please. Anybody else? Come on people. I called you in here because you were the best of the best!
Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/f/collegehumor.7cc2e0696d5c5ce7891a75df31a50bd8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2006-11-08 14:34:28 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229">Amir Blumenfeld</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:217"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 112 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729987 The Student Who Cares Too Much About Others Being Late to Class Mon, 07 May 2007 13:55:38 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729987 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Man, this Econ class sure is difficult. It's pretty annoying coming to class early every single time just to ask the professor questions about everything we've already gone over a few times. But it'll be worth it when I get my A. Thank God the semester is almost over. Wait a second, the door is opening. It's that goddamn kid that always comes in 40 minutes late! Jesus Christ, there's only 10 minutes left of class. Why would he come that late to class? He's already missed pretty much the entire lecture. WTF?

Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:849223"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/9/collegehumor.532eaf9168d297a8e16abf49902abb5b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:849223">Tim O'Donnell</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 21 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />