In college no one cares what you wear to class, but they do care what you wear on Halloween. There are literally million of things you could dress up as; this is why your choice in costume says a lot about you. This is what you were saying this Halloween with your costume choice.

• Sheet
  
• Scissors
• Legs
  
• Heels
  

• Make sure to yell "boo" at least once during orgasm
  

• Too-tight T-shirt with stupid pattern on it
• Too-tight jeans
• Hair gel
• Imported beer
• Cigarette
• Scarf

• Scoff at most things people say
• Dance with your hands only, no hips
• Be generally obnoxious and dismissive of American customs

• Filthy dress shirt
  
• Loose necktie
  
• Bottle of whiskey
  
• Red blush for gin blossoms on nose and cheeks (or just rub your face raw all night, you'll probably be too drunk to feel it)
  

• Hit on younger girls
  
• Request Billy Ocean songs all night
  
• Pretend your excessive drinking is "just part of the costume"

inside all of us... is beer.

What better way to pay homage to Maurice Sendak's timeless work than by dressing up like the main character, getting drunk and throwing up all over yourself? With the recently-released "Wild Things" movie enjoying huge popularity, there are sure to be more than a few homemade Max/wolf costumes this year. It's easy, it's comfortable and it lets the wearer feel edgy and hip without the fear of actually alienating anyone.

Better Suggestion: Build a 12-foot animatronic "Wild Thing" puppet and pay James Gandolfini to record every possible response you would say at a party. Wear the puppet and communicate using only the pre-taped lines.