Thank you very much for your letters. The Discovery Channel welcomes all types of feedback from its dedicated fans and seriously considers all recommendations. However, at this time we are unfortunately not able to honour your numerous requests and will not be expanding our famous Shark Week.

While the prospects of "Shark Month" and "Shark Semester" are enticing, we still feel that well-rounded and informative programming is more conducive to our mission. Your subsequent request of a "Shark Fortnight" was an improvement, but we're still confident that one week out of the year devoted entirely to sharks is enough.

• "Most people wouldn't even think to use elk feces as a source of food, but it's extremely rich in vitamin B6, which will keep me energized during my hike today."
• "Fires are vital to one's survival through the cold nights here in the Andes, and a good way to make one is to urinate on a large piece of granite, then rub elderberries against it in a circular motion."
• "During my 56 years of service in the British special forces, I did thousands of parachute jumps.  But I've only attempted a double loop corkscrew swan dive into a red ant mound twice."

• If you make an ugly face, it will stay that way forever.
• In ninth grade Joe Radzynowki stuck a toothpick in his dickhole.
• If one person is rubber and the other is glue, whatever the first person says bounces off the other person and sticks back to him.
• My dad is only hard on me because he loves me.
• A checkers set is just as cool as a Nintendo Wii, and mom will have a job soon
• Circle circle dot dot also works for AIDS
• My parents got a divorce because I don't do my chores.

• All boys my age experiment with each other
• Jessica Hampton can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
• Dinosaurs
• If you think about it really hard, you can grow facial hair.
• Allison Flanderjan has flapjack titties and gave Jimmy Nelson a handjob under the bleachers pass it on.
• When two atoms are accelerated to near the speed of light then collide a barrage of sub-atomic particles is realeased including particles known as gravitrons.
• When I was six, my dog Snickers left to go live on a farm.