CollegeHumor: Fergie Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735349 Requiem For A Friendship Mon, 02 Jul 2007 09:00:39 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735349 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

You're my best friend
I know you so well,
But in your cold heart
A sickness does dwell.

It was like any day
We'd passed through before.
I spotted your iPod
Charging by the door.

"I wonder what songs
my friend listens to?"
I said to myself
Thinking fondly of you.

And picking it up
and turning it on
I found something vile
My smile was gone.

The bar halfway through,
the pause lines were lit.
I could not believe
you'd listen to this.

With trembling hands
I put it back down.
Wondering how
you hid this so long.

You were my best friend,
But you'll have to resign,
Because friends who rock Fergie
Are no friends of mine!


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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-07-02 09:00:39 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 10 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1725309 London Bridge - An Analysis Sun, 01 Apr 2007 13:24:19 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1725309 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> In September 2006, Stacy Ann Ferguson, or Fergie as she is best known, shocked the world by starting her own solo career. The first single was entitled 'London Bridge', which, had been previously undiscovered by me until about 1 am last night. I was so moved by its lyrical storytelling and literary poise that I feel obligated to analyze what will soon be hailed as a song greater than the 1812 Overture.

[upload:1130300:small:left:The Poet, The Philosopher]Oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t.
Are you ready for this?
Oh, sh*t!
Oh!

Fergie’s chorus of deep voices (Who I assume belongs to her group of man-slaves) is alerting the general public that they are about to be assaulted by her dope beats, accompanied by an atypical meter.

It's me
Fergie
The pimp
Paulo!
Fergie Ferg, what's up baby?!
Come on

Not unlike Herman Melville started his epic “Moby Dick”, Fergie introduces herself at the beginning of her masterpiece in the first person. Note her defiance towards typical gender roles in calling herself ‘The Pimp’. Feminists could learn a thing or two from this courageous crooner.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:189838"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/2/collegehumor.32db04edd09af218e5fc77e27b94b955.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:189838">Mark M</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 45 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />