CollegeHumor: Finals Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776040 How Not Studying for Finals Helps You Pass Your Finals Tue, 19 May 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776040 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Whoops. You forgot to study for your finals again this year. As your cool uncle would say, so what? In an foolproof twist of irony, here's how NOT studying for finals can actually help you pass. It's (sort of) true! You scholar you.

Chemisty: It's the night before your chemistry final and you haven't even cracked the book. First things first; pop an adderall. As soon as you feel the 9 parts Carbon, 13 parts Hydrogen and 1 part Nitrogen start to increase your brain function, sit down and-OH SH*T, SON! Nevermind, book, because you just learned the chemical effects of amphetamines first hand. Now, take that newfound concentration and go beat your roommate's record of consecutive chair spins. With dopamine levels like that, you can't lose.

 

 

Neurology: After a sleepless night of cramming for your Western Civ final at 9am, you're on your way to your 11am Neurology final with nothing prepared. Man, you're really starting to feel the effects of a lack of R.E.M. sleep. It's like your temporal lobe isn't activated at all, your neurotransmitters are firing slower than usual, and you're having trouble with words. Oh, I'm sorry, did I just hear an accurate list of the neurological effects of sleep deprivation? The answer is deppfiatley.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:293"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/d/collegehumor.2500d10d3b58683f1224355d5ee015c3.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-19 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:293">Sarah Schneider</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1120"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 179 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1730017 The Answer is NOT always C Mon, 07 May 2007 17:17:11 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1730017 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Check out this exam my friend took the other week.
100 question True/False Communications Final



His professor sent him an e-mail the following day:
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.45397a4c6c8241522ef776b95348cf0f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-05-07 17:17:11 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326">Jeff Rosenberg</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 888 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1745774 The Harder Your Finals Are Wed, 05 Dec 2007 11:18:06 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1745774 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

"Bathroom breaks" taken during exam

Answers miraculously solved

Expected post-college salary

Knowledge retained into adulthood

C's filled in

Trips to the library

Study aides used
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/5/collegehumor.410f4f84538571c78218e93585c6a5bb.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-12-05 11:18:06 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 79 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738503 Negotiations 101b Tue, 14 Aug 2007 14:00:30 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738503 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Professor: All right, I know I’ve been referencing the final exam for a while now, not telling you exactly what it is. But today I’m finally going to explain to everybody how the final works in this class.

Brian: Yeah! Tell us!

Professor: Brian, leave.

(Brian Exits)

Professor: All right. The rest of you are finally ready to know. The final in this class, is to convince me what grade you deserve on it. This is, after all, negotiations class!

(Class is silent. Stunned. Confused. Excited.)

Professor: That’s right. No questions, no answers. Just convince me of what grade you want, and we will negotiate your final score. You vs. Me. It will be worth 65% of your grade.

(Professor bites his lower lip and raises his eyebrows, knowing that he’s really cool for thinking of such an experimental concept.)

Four Weeks Later -- Finals Time
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/f/collegehumor.7cc2e0696d5c5ce7891a75df31a50bd8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-08-14 14:00:30 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229">Amir Blumenfeld</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:217"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 30 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729825 Thought Process the Night Before an Exam Sat, 05 May 2007 18:32:47 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729825 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Alright, let’s bang this one out.  It’s 6 P.M. right now and my exam is at noon tomorrow.  I’ve got loads of time.  Okay, haven’t read any of the chapters.  Not a big deal.  16 chapters, definitely doable.  Chapter 1, page 1, let’s get a move on it.  I’ve got my can of Red Bull, some Chinese food, and my good ol’ sweats.  We’re good to go.

It’s pretty simple if you think about it logically.  All I need to do is study the information in this book so I’ll have the material inside my head, then I use what I’ve learned and apply it on the test to get a good grade.

Okay, Chapter 2 here I come! 300 pages in 15 hours, doable.  20 pages an hour, that’s nothing.  I read the last Harry Potter book in, like, one sitting and that was 500 pages.  This should be a walk in the park.

I’m not stressing out, I’m just getting a little aggravated, that’s all. 

Where’s my roommate?!?  He’s in my class, why isn’t he here studying with me? If he’s not back in the next ten minutes to help me study I’m stealing something from him, swear to God.  I’ve always wanted that green t-shirt he has. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he can pull it off, but I’d definitely rock it harder.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.45397a4c6c8241522ef776b95348cf0f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-05-05 18:32:47 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326">Jeff Rosenberg</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 86 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1718205 Got One Of My Finals Back Tue, 06 Feb 2007 17:33:43 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1718205 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/f/collegehumor.7cc2e0696d5c5ce7891a75df31a50bd8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-02-06 17:33:43 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229">Amir Blumenfeld</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:217"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 181 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1728842 A Final I Could Actually Pass Thu, 26 Apr 2007 17:28:17 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1728842 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


 Section 1: Short Answer


1)  You just threw a rock and two consecutive scissors. He threw paper, scissors, and paper. What would be the correct next throw if it determined who was driving to Taco Bell? To KFC? Please explain.


2)  You have banana cake mix, 2 end pieces of a loaf of bread, mayonnaise, and 75 cents to your name.  Please explain how you are going to eat tonight.


Section 2: Fill in the Blank


3)  The best place to go if you feel like eating 15 tiny, delicious cheeseburgers is _____________.


4)  During your junior year, the incredibly under appreciated TV show ___________ ____________ was canceled after just 3 f*cking seasons.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:88463"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/7/collegehumor.a10dec146a1bd10faa0c6bc7d1abd3c8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:88463">MrRabbit</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:365"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 83 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729310 Fill in the Blanks: Finals Edition Tue, 01 May 2007 01:38:36 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729310 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Well, its finals week here at University of ___1___. I was studying super hard for
___2___ 101 but I just couldn't cram it into my ___3___. I watched TV for little bit, but all that was on was a marathon of ___4___. My ___5___ test on Thursday will be really tough, but I bet I can get the answers from ___6___. I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to  ___7___ to take a break from studying, but she said she was ___8___ with a ___9___ and it would take her 3 hours to finish it. I went to the dining hall, got some ___10___ and then a bunch of mayonnaise fell out.  No one told me college was going to be this ___11___. I thought it was going to be all ___12___ and ___13___. Maybe I'll join a frat next year. Those guys know how to ___14___. Anyway, I have to keep ___15___ for ___16___ or I'll fail.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:113945"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/0/collegehumor.9ac6fe1f3b110b3449c9b7a01e67477a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:113945">Andy</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:74"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 4 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1730426 An Open Letter to the Guy Who Finished His Final in 38 Minutes Thu, 10 May 2007 19:25:32 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1730426 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Dear Guy Who Finished His Final in 38 Minutes,

Hi. You don’t know me, but I know you. In fact, I’d venture a bold guess and say that every single person in the class knows you now. I mean, students are easily distracted, and seeing you trudge up to the front of the classroom, blue book in hand, and hand over your cumulative knowledge of the class within 38 minutes of the final starting, well, suffice to say, it broke my attention. I was merely starting question number 3, but you, you had finished every single question and were officially done with the course! In fact, I wanted to have a conversation with you but I was more interested in not failing then discussing your test-taking methods. Anyway, I thought I’d write this letter in the hopes that you’ll read this and give me some closure as to what exactly happened.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:871259"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/e/collegehumor.0a814b08df0eab943ff215be93e5af1e.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:871259">Cody S.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:50"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 23 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />