Early Rounds
The guys who end up with Adrian Peterson and Drew Brees are as happy as pigs in sh*t, while those who have to talk themselves into Frank Gore in the first round have already begun writing off their season in their heads. All of the studs get snapped up in mostly logical order. However, there are always hilarious exceptions, like Joseph Addai going in the first round. Don't you realize he is injury prone AND splitting carries? It's not 2006 anymore.

Let me start off by saying congratulations. The people you support with all your heart have worked really, really hard to be in this position, and it feels awesome, doesn't it? I mean, this has been a truly epic run. And it all leads up to the big day, when it's all going to pay off. What a feeling! At this point you're probably wondering why I am writing this letter. It's very simple, actually. The truth is, I know exactly how you're feeling right now, because I experienced these very same emotions roughly 8 months ago.

I would retire, but then what would John Madden have to talk about?

Irv Favre: Ok guys, we're about to cross the George Washington bridge during rush-hour traffic. Does anyone need to go to the bathroom before we get on?

Brett: I'll be fine Dad; you don't need to worry about me.

Irv: Are you sure Brett? You've been pretty quiet back there, and you didn't use the bathroom when we were driving through upstate.

Brett: Don't worry, I'm good for now. I've only had one Capri Sun since the last rest stop, and my bladder remains blissfully empty.

30 minutes later

Brett: Dad, I changed my mind, I really need to go.

Irv: Brett, we're in the middle of the bridge! There are cars on either side of me, and no exits for a few miles. Can you just wait?

Brett: What, I'm the quietest kid in the back seat, I never spill my juice box, I never ask whether we're there yet, and this is the treatment you give me?

Irv: I'm sorry son, but we can't do anything about it at this point in time. You told me you didn't have to piss, and so we moved on. What more can I say?

...

Irv: Oh SWEET CHRIST, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

First of all, you're not going to stop Air Bud, you can only hope to contain him. He found pay dirt against us five times before we even knew the game had started. This player has a nose for the end zone and probably worst of all he's got easily twice the agility of any defensive player you have on the field (four legs against two, not hard to see the advantage.)