CollegeHumor: Frat Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793991 The Categories of a Douchebag Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793991 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

PREPORIOUS DOUCHEBAGIUM
"Preppy Douchebag"
Pickup line: "You would look good sunbathing at my Nantucket summer cottage."
Found: Ivy League campuses, smoking clubs, Rugby stores
Wears: Polo shirts, boating shoes, suits at inappropriate times
Thrives on: "Intellectual" discussions, purebred dogs, wine coolers
Weakness: Actually intellectual discussions.

FRATERNITORUS DOUCHEBAGIUM
"Frat Bro Douchebag"
Pickup line: "I made this drink for you."
Found: Beer pong championships, The Game, not lectures
Wears: College apparel, Birkenstocks with socks, puca shell necklaces
Thrives on: Natty Ice, cold pizza, the blood of sorority freshmen
Weakness: Correct spelling and grammar.
Keep Reading
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2137237"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/a/collegehumor.5acc24905249c461d51032da3fb7ee6a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-10 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2137237">Emily</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 71 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792186 Frat Merger Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792186 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
CLASSIC MOOSE!
Jack: Alright you guys, listen up.

Gasinator: Pfffbbbbb! Ugh. Who beefed?

Jack: Not now, Gasinator, this is important. As you guys know, these are difficult times. Party attendance has declined steadily since the release of the Wii, and the current economic climate isn't helping. Our last Golf Pros and Tennis Hos party only brought in $23, and Moose accidentally bought a giant sandwich with it.

Squiggy: CLASSIC MOOSE!

Jack: The bottom line is that we no longer have the money to continue as a fraternity, which is why we're merging with Lambda Nu.

Burly: Lambda Nu? We hate those assholes.

Gasinator: Pfffbbbbb! Oh man. Someone just ripped ass.

Markowitz: Chill out, Burly. Those are our brothers you're talking about. We're all one big frat now. The biggest frat on campus, right? This could be great.

Jack: Not exactly. We're going to have to let a lot of you go.

The Omega Chi's shift uncomfortably.

Jack: Old Mike, you've been with Omega Chi for nine years, deftly avoiding graduation time and time again.

Old Mike smiles proudly.

Jack: But the Lambda Nu's have a guy that's been here for 13 years. I'm sorry. You're being replaced by Old Steve.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.aefefba05adec0eb158d18dd8d36a1b2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-29 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 136 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1725543 A Realtor Shows a Fraternity House Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:40:52 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1725543 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Well here we are; the current Phi Omega Sigma house. As you know, they're being asked to vacate the house immediately. Right, following the three pledge deaths in March. But, the speedy eviction of these tennants means you'll pay much less than the house is worth, so hey, that's good news for you. Oh by the way, You understand we couldn’t get everybody who lives here to leave during the viewing, right?
Come on in here with me into the foyer. Oh yay, we are here just in time to witness one of the house’s oldest traditions. These fifteen young men you see standing here in their boxers passing a raw egg to each other mouth to mouth are called pledges. What a joyful prospect it is to think that you can live in a residence so rich with history! Let's low five.
 
Ah, this is the living room. I know what you're thinking; and yes, these eight vinyl couches DO come with the residence. Smell? I don't notice anything. Hmm, I have a cold, I'm sure it's fine. Nothing a little scrubbing in between the cracks on these soft wood floor won't fix.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:337"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/3/collegehumor.eb40651ef1a233967185fd33a3b9621e.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-04-02 21:40:52 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:337">Ryan Kraemer</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:489"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 14 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />