CollegeHumor: Graduation Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777476 Realistic College Grad Party Invitation Tue, 16 Jun 2009 13:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777476 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657072"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/8/collegehumor.06098b8bb7a6234c386249d817f7bddb.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-06-16 13:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657072">Conor McKeon</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:529"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 31 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776209 Accurate Commencement Program Thu, 21 May 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776209 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/b/collegehumor.688014cc4e3f51335e8cf30b65685d54.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-21 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720">Owen Parsons</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 345 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775847 Graduation Word Search Fri, 15 May 2009 16:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775847 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Words to find:
INSPIRE
HOPE
CHANGE
PLANS
START
YAY
NEW
FUTURE


Answers after the jump!
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:293"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/d/collegehumor.2500d10d3b58683f1224355d5ee015c3.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-15 16:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:293">Sarah Schneider</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1120"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 473 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775702 What I Learned in College Thu, 14 May 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775702 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
excited to be moving back into mom's basement
Ah, graduation. It seems like just days ago I was awkwardly Facebook-friending my entire Freshman class and explaining to my mom why I'd need to start taking the pill. I had high hopes for the future and knew that college was just the beginning to the awesome adventure that would be my adult life. But now -THANKS RECESSION JOB MARKET- I'll be spending my post-college days sleeping on strangers couches and my nights soliciting Midwest tourists in Times Square (mention this article for 20% off!). And so I thought I should probably use my remaining days as a college student to do something positive and share with future grads what these last four years have taught me. 


Most electronic devices are not waterproof.

 

Remember that time in high school you got really drunk and jumped in the pool with your phone? Welcome to every weekend for the next four years. Your phone WILL end up in a toilet. Your iPod WILL end up in a beer. And you WILL wake up one Saturday afternoon to find that your laptop has been marinating in a vodka-fruit punch cocktail all night.  Personally, during the span on college I've seen six cell phones, two iPods, and one laptop all bite the dust in extremely inconvenient and watery ways. Which is why you should take out an insurance policy on everything and start rehearsing the following phrase now: "Why no, Apple/Dell/Sony Customer Service Representative, I don't know why the keyboard smells like Hawaiian Punch."
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1745270"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/5/collegehumor.d6d633329d67c3bcecc4e765cb8b517f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-14 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1745270">Marina Cockenberg</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 54 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735581 Congrats Grads! Fri, 06 Jul 2007 10:22:26 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735581 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:58710"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/6/collegehumor.1a4c653896f8eb8b25e3ffa6b5663735.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-07-06 10:22:26 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:58710">Katie Marino</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 37 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733537 A Phone Call From Your College Three Weeks After Graduation Mon, 11 Jun 2007 16:57:23 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733537 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Hey. What's up? Yeah, I know, it's only been a few weeks but it feels like forever right? I mean, you graduated. Wow, it's pretty crazy. I know, I know. Listen, what have you been up to? Oh, no job yet? That's cool. A lot of people hang around the house the first few months out of school waiting for that golden opportunity to strike. You know, as an Alumni, Career Services is still at your disposal for... oh you did? And they couldn't help you? Told you to what? Jeez I'm really sorry about that. Yeah, I'm not really sure what they're getting paid for over there either.
 
So, have you spoken with a lot of your friends from school? Oh that's great. And what about that hot little number that- oh you guys broke up? Jeez, I'm sorry. Oh wow, you're in the hosptial right now? Whoa, I'm sorry. Must've been a pretty bad break up. Yeah, an ex did that to my car too once, oh no, not while I was in it. Wow, man, that must have hurt.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.e464c2c03ccab951de6330bd6e59b571.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-06-11 16:57:23 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 17 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1731208 Technical School Commencement Day Speech Thu, 17 May 2007 14:09:24 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1731208 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
You will go out into the world, and a harsh world it is, after your 2 years of basic elementary technical skills and be thrown into a life of misery and disdain. You shall be spat on, countless times by “white-collars” who consider themselves to be of higher importance and value, simply because they possess a greater level of intellect and an actual degree from an accredited, prestigious, and recognized 4-year University. You will be looked down upon in a condescending manner, even ostracized from elitist social circles and events.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.45397a4c6c8241522ef776b95348cf0f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-05-17 14:09:24 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326">Jeff Rosenberg</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 10 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1731061 Graduation Cap Cut-Outs Wed, 16 May 2007 13:23:31 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1731061 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

The Future
Let's stop pretending that you'll have those lucious locks forever and face the cold hard facts: you're going to go bald... soon. Give everyone a preview of what your scalp will look like at the ten-year reunion with this stylish cap design!


_Click For Full Size_


The Resume
Fill out the information and when it comes time to toss your cap, wing that sucker frisbee-style into the area of the crowd where the business students' parents are sitting. You'll have a job in no time!


_Click For Full Size_
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/5/collegehumor.410f4f84538571c78218e93585c6a5bb.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-05-16 13:23:31 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 54 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729982 Graduation Speaker Bingo Mon, 07 May 2007 13:16:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1729982 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

_Click for Printable Full Size_

Excerpted from The CollegeHumor Guide to College, available on Amazon just in time for Mother's Day!
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:348"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/b/collegehumor.59f1c91ec38e359c7ec3198b31dac70f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:348">CH Guide to College</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 46 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733572 Bad Graduation Gift Ideas Mon, 11 Jun 2007 21:36:22 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733572 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> A Briefcase: Oh, thanks Uncle Frank. You getting me this briefcase ensures that I’m supposed to work the same 9-5 office job that you've worked for that last 25 years while complaining about it and cheating on my wife with my secretary. (Sorry Aunt Jane)

“Planet Earth” on DVD: Am I that hard to shop for? How long did it take you to pick this out at Wal-Mart? Do you think that all I do is get high and watch the Discovery Channel? Well guess what, I DO! F*ck you for stereotyping.

“Planet Earth” on VHS: What the sh*t? There’s like 20 tapes. Get out of my sight Grandma.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:113945"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/0/collegehumor.9ac6fe1f3b110b3449c9b7a01e67477a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:113945">Andy</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:74"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 21 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />