"24" Hero Jack Bauer Races to Prevent a Party Foul

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 00:01:29 -0500

I need you to listen to me very closely. There's isn't much time. My name isn't important, but I'm a federal agent, and I was invited here by Kevin's roommate. You can check with him for clearance later—he's in the kitchen—but for now you're just going to have to trust me.

One hour ago an unidentified student managed to elude your doorman and made his way inside this party. A witness claims she saw a guest giving him a high five: I believed he had an inside man. I followed the suspected traitor into the bathroom, handcuffed him to the sink, and shoved a bath towel down his throat before he confessed that the unidentified student was a friend who was previously deported from the party for vomiting into Kevin's aquarium, and that he had conspired to smuggle him back in by telling the doorman the student was "with him," and that he was "solid."

I have reason to believe this student is capable of an even greater act of destruction than the aquarium defecation. As long as he's free nobody at this party is safe. And you need to know that I will do anything to protect this dorm, and that includes sacrificing everyone here, as well as myself. Do you understand? I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/b/collegehumor.bf47a312f8c3b3d327c1333b4268bdca.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-02-08 00:01:29 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226">Patrick Cassels</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:857"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 35 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

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"24" Hero Jack Bauer Races to Prevent a Party Foul