CollegeHumor: Love Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776979 Love, According to Your Professors Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776979 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> What love is, according to your...

Advertising Professor: Love is a cash cow. Remember this: if you can associate something with love, sex, or violence you're creating an association between your product and happiness or excitement. Why do you think Valentine's Day was so successful that it got a sequel?

Algebra Professor: Love is the sum of it's parts, any unknown in which can be found by comparing multiple formulae in order to solve for two or more variables.

Biology Professor: Love is a natural desire tofind a mate which manifests in the form of joy. This motivates partial monogamy in nature to ensure the well-being of offspring.

Chemistry Professor: Love is the influence of many chemicals being released within the body. As hormones like Oxytocin and Vasopressin are released inside the body, the brain creates a feeling of euphoria. Significant others, sex, and maternal instincts involve the release of these chemicals.

Computer Programming Professor: 01001100011011110111011001100101. Of course, it changes if you want to change the capitalization.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1949518"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/4/collegehumor.32ef09b87424ff3213f84a249fbb0022.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-06-11 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1949518">Pete</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:396"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 22 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770720 A Kid Whose Parents Just Got Divorced Writes A Book Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770720 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1648824"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/a/collegehumor.3fc86fae9d1470ed6013e7fafc3e1807.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-02-13 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1648824">Brian Murphy</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1059 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738142 A Love Affair Chronicled by 90's Song Titles Thu, 09 Aug 2007 15:08:58 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1738142 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Him: 'Are You Gonna Go My Way?'
Her: 'Hold My Hand'
Him: 'My Name is...' 'Jeremy'
Her: 'Whatta man.'
Him: 'You're Makin' Me High.'
Her: 'Drive.'
Him: 'Right Now?'
Her: 'Aint 2 Proud 2 Beg.'
Him: 'Where Do You Go?'
Her: 'Streets of Philadelphia.'
Him: 'Where it's at.'
Her: 'You Oughta Know.'

______________

Her: 'Something to Talk About.'
Him: 'What is Love?'
Her: 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.'
Him: 'That's the Way Love Goes.'
Her: 'You Make Me Wanna...' 'Set Adrift on Memory Bliss.'
Him: 'I Try.'

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:360"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/e/collegehumor.2f0c0a2c082263959f82090ece75a662.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-08-09 15:08:58 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:360">Dean</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 19 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1737958 Romantic or Creepy? Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:59:07 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1737958 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Romance is a funny thing; a romantic gesture toward a girl is completely influenced by how she feels about you. Be careful before going out on a limb for that special someone, because if a girl isn’t into you, your attempt at romance may be perceived as creepy. Take a hint from the following examples, which would all be deemed romantic by a girl who is into you, and creepy by a girl who isn’t.


  • Leaving flowers on her car while she’s at work.
  • Writing her a love poem.
  • Planning a surprise party.
  • Buying a teddy bear whose chest reads “I wuv u!”
  • Lighting candles in her bedroom and waiting for her wearing only a smile.
  • Giving her a coffee tin full of your ear wax.
  • Shaving her initials into your pubic hair.
  • Painting a picture of her using only blood and feces.
  • Taking her literally when she says she hates her parents; killing them.
  • Finding her dead from an apparent poisoning when, in fact, she’s only pretending to be dead, but killing yourself by drinking poison just the same due to the anguish.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:290"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/6/collegehumor.822971a76dd3dcda7eb46b26fa7a05b9.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-08-07 11:59:07 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:290">Chris Richman</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 37 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1719092 Valentine's Day For Single People Tue, 13 Feb 2007 11:32:04 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1719092 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Whatever. Little do those lame lovebirds know that there's plenty of awesome stuff to do on Valentines day even if your girlfriend dumped you after you made dinner reservations that you made clear were not able to be canceled. (I asked you on November 30th if you were ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN we would be together and YOU SAID YES!!! I'm not asking you to love me, but you could at least go to dinner with me still. And no, I'm not paying for your fat ass -- You can pay for yourself. You are so unfair!)

Suggestions:

[upload:884605:small:left:I'm sending you half of this card. You can have the other half when you apologize to me.]- Look at old videos that you put on your computer but you haven't really looked at since you uploaded them. This one is super fun. Just search by extension (.mov and .avi are most popular) and make a night of it. You're in for a night of great surprises like the time you thought you were taking a picture sophomore year but it was actually a two second video. So much better than eating dinner at Café Veritas (five stars according to Parade Magazine) with an ungrateful slut. And don't even tell me there's nothing to eat because you're a vegetarian, I know you've eaten fish before.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/f/collegehumor.7cc2e0696d5c5ce7891a75df31a50bd8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-02-13 11:32:04 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:229">Amir Blumenfeld</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:217"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 50 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1718902 Peanut Butter, I Love You Mon, 12 Feb 2007 12:20:08 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1718902 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Peanut butter, I know we’ve been friends for a long time. Why am I playing Dave Matthews Band’s Say Goodbye? No reason. Well it’s just that lately I’ve been thinking… I know there’s been this tension between us and I just want to say - well peanut butter, I love you.                              
What do I expect you to say? How about you say, “I love you too”? I mean, you don’t have to. I just...

No, I understand. I know! Our friendship means more to me than anything too! I just couldn’t keep this inside any longer. You know me, I’m a mess. Without you I just get the bread all soggy every time. My life feels meaningless without you. I want be in the same jar as you forever. I know it sounds cheesy, but I think we belong together. Together, we can make sure that it's truly peanut butter jelly time.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:476075"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/2/collegehumor.3b8a5b9a54e84f21bd0a66e2416fccc1.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:476075">Jelly</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:725"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 33 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />