CollegeHumor: Lurk Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1721315 Joshua Heller's Spring Fashion Trends Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:14:55 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1721315 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
The way you should act in public.

Remember how that lurky guy in your dorm always used to stare at you from the hall for five minutes and then walk away abruptly? Creepy, right? Well not in 2007, lurkyness is your key to success this spring.

Practice your "lurk." You need to perfect standing around as though you have something to say, and then don't say anything at all. A good technique is having an imaginary conversation in your head with the person you are staring at.

"Hey Karen, how was your weekend?"
"Great, Jim, how about yours?"
"It was pretty fun, my buddy got a new boat, so we went down to the lake. "
"Wow that's awesome, I went to---"
"Oh, Karen, sorry, my phone is ringing, I'll be right back."

That is how it should appear in your head. But the person you are "lurking" should see it as:

"------"
(After thirty seconds you run away.)
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:405465"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/8/collegehumor.3bb700fe616742b46dae22381d3e2a6f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-02-28 15:14:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:405465">Joshua Heller</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 12 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />