You see... I have dealt more than several hours with attempts to release this refreshing liquid into my body. But as you can so clearly observe, this fruit drink has infuriatingly halted itself to no end.

In fact, the roof of my mouth, in its extreme state of desiccation, is dreadfully crying out for just the slimmest drop of quenching tropical fruit juice. Due to the faulty perforated hole that is normally to be pierced by the individually wrapped straw, all 6.75 fluid ounces of my liquid replenishment will remain in its default container.

Just ever so slightly out of reach.

Does every great quenching snack have its obstacles? Surely. If this here beverage weren't so delightful, it would not be worth the trouble that it is. All wise men know these 70 calories of strawberry kiwi flavor do not come without a little work, a bit of exertion.

Could I cheat and thrust the straw through the bottom of the container? I suppose that technically I could. That would mean two things: I took the ways of a weak man to solve my problem. Also, I wouldn't be able to set the drink down until I have completely finished it.

When a man makes a promise, or in this case-- a thirty-minute delivery guarantee, he is expected to keep it.

You see sonny, I wish I were able to tell you that I was able to fight the good fight in this situation. I wish I were able to tell you that, I really do. But real life is no fairytale world. People... they get hungry.