CollegeHumor: Movies Articles This Month

CollegeHumor: Movies Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792835 7 New Professors on RateMyProfessors.com Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792835 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/b/collegehumor.688014cc4e3f51335e8cf30b65685d54.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-13 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720">Owen Parsons</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1030 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791463 250 Years Before 'The Goonies' Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791463 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

A pirate ship lies trapped inside a giant cave off the coast of Astoria, Oregon.
One-Eyed Willie and his first mate Derek sit at a table covered with treasure. They're surrounded by several dead pirates.

Willie: So how be the booby trap situation?

Derek: Well, everything's all set up like you wanted so no one should ever be able to get in here.

Willie: Great.

Derek: There's a couple things though...

Willie: Aye?

Derek: Well, it's just that we've been in here for like six years, right?

Willie: Yar.

Derek: Right. And we've managed to survive that entire time...in a cave...with minimal resources.

Willie: What be yer point?

Derek: Okay, well, my point is that we've been a pretty resourceful group,right? We dug tunnels, made a deadfall, carved that stone into a giant skull... We set up a goddamn waterslide...

Willie: So?

Derek: Dude, Jack built a fucking pipe organ out of human bones! Not to mention we've rigged up the entire cave to collapse in on itself if someone touches the treasure.

Willie: 'Tis pretty amazing, aye?

Derek: Yeah, 'tis. But I'm saying if we were able to do all that, shouldn't we be able to get out of here?

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1613026"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/2/collegehumor.2a01e008b43d2d0cb0d31372ba129cb7.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-16 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1613026">Rene</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 31 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790486 5 Filmmakers' Greatest Shame Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790486 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> 1. JJ ABRAMS (writer of Gone Fishin')

The master of the overly complex mysteries of Lost/Alias/Fringe, omnipresent lens flares of Star Trek, and frizzy hair of Felicity hasn't always been able to spin engaging plots with fresh, interesting characters. In fact, JJ (at the time known as "Jeffrey") may have made the most ridiculously, jaw-droppingly bad buddy comedy of all-time: Gone Fishin'. In case the pairing of Joe Pesci and Danny Glover as wacky fishin' pals who get into wild hijinks in an attempt to go fishing (really) isn't enough for you, just watch the film and prepare for his greatest mystery of all: how did this movie ever got made? Nothing is funny, the hijinks are non-sensical, and it contains possibly the most uncomfortable Willie Nelson cameo of all-time. SPOILER ALERT! They don't even catch any fish.

Extra Bit of Ridiculous: Dean Cain's dad directed it.

2. JOSS WHEDON (writer of Alien: Resurrection)

Millions of geeks praise everything Joss Whedon touches without even needing to think. Joss Whedon has a new show? IT WAS THE MOST BRILLIANT SHOW OF ALL-TIME! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT GOT CANCELLED! Joss Whedon makes a sandwich? SINGLE GREATEST SANDWICH EVER! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT GOT EATEN! Joss Whedon makes a third sequel to Alien? IT WAS THE...oh, the one with Winona Ryder? Ew. That crap was terrible. Whedonites try to forget their Lord/Master/Rich Man's Diablo Cody ever had his hand in that pot, but helping Winona Ryder stay employed is something that should be punishable by death.

Extra Bit of Ridiculous: The director's next film? Amelie.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/8/collegehumor.6eb639fd06721655a3e45cf8154fb0a4.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-14 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923">Andrew B.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 94 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790930 A Quick Guide to the Films of Fall 2009 Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790930 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> It's that time of the year again folks: No more Star Trek, no more Harry Potter, no more Apatow or Tarantino or the guy who wasn't Peter Jackson that made District 9. It's the fall movie season, when all the studios bestow our theatres with whatever wasn't good enough for the summer and/or hopes to get nominated for those worthless Academy Awards. And although the blockbuster season may be over, don't turn your back to the local cinema just yet. There's a bunch of fine and not-so-fine features hastily awaiting your viewing pleasure... and your money.

Jennifer's Body
Release Date: 9-18-09

What is it?: Megan Fox is a vampire/werewolf demon-thing who goes around seducing men to fulfill her lust for coc... err, blood.
Target Audience: Ever gotten a boner before? Probably you.
Pros: Strong female characters, likely to start a bunch of WYR's that end with "or have Megan Fox rape and kill you?"
Cons: Myapologies to any guy who wears sweatpants or basketball shorts duringthis. Make sure to do the patented waistband tuck... or if you're witha date, get popcorn.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1840402"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/1/collegehumor.43f50023166b514f162163f1c8e76dfa.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-10 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1840402">bgro</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:107"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 27 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790566 Nick Cage and His Agent Mon, 31 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790566 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Phonecall: Result:

Cage: Nick Cage's phone. This is Nick Cage.

Cage's Agent: Nick, baby, I got a movie offer for you on my desk.

Cage: I'll do it.

Cage's Agent: Don't you want to see a script or something?

Cage: I haven't read a script since Leaving Las Vegas. Just sign me up.

Cage's Agent: Do you even want to know the title?

Cage: I pay you to do these things for me. Tell them I can film the whole thing next week.

Cage: That was terrible.

Cage's Agent: I know but I'm looking at your next blockbuster right now. In this one you can see into the future.

Cage: Sounds cool. Will my face take up a third of the poster again?

Cage's Agent: I can make it happen.

Cage: I'm in.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1845295"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/7/collegehumor.531866036637001d445b9cd78e398051.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-31 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1845295">Dan Howard</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:59"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 48 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790513 The Invention of Lying Thu, 27 Aug 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790513 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Do you ever have one of those days where things are just going right? One of those days where you wake up early, jump in an idling towncar to be driven to the Delta shuttle to Boston, land at Logan, hop in a van, get out at a film set, interview Jennifer Garner, Ricky Gervais and Rob Lowe, jump back in a van, go to Logan and fly back to New York? No? Well, one day last year Warner Brother's somehow got ahold of my name and invited me up to the set of The Invention of Lying, due out on October 2nd.

I had never been to a film set before, let alone a set run by my comedy hero (sorry, Jennifer, I'm speaking about Ricky Gervais). The Invention of Lying, at that point called This Side of the Truth, was a bit of a mystery. I had heard rumblings online about this film, written, directed and starring Gervais (also written and directed by Matthew Robinson, who I'll get to later). A quick peek at IMDB before I left sent shivers down my spine. Listed in the cast (in addition to Lowe, Garner and Gervais): Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Jeffery Tambor, Jason Bateman, Louis C.K., John Hodgman, Patrick Stewart, Martin Starr and Christopher Guest. I didn't know who would be on set that day but odds were that whoever it was would be A) very famous, B) extremely funny and C) super intimidating.

I am not a journalist but luckily Edward Douglas, of ComingSoon.net, was there with me to ask all the important questions and teach me how to behave on set. However, the moment we stepped foot on location - a ritzy private school in Lowell, Massachusetts where George W. Bush had been "educated" - things were a little different. I had expected to be kept in some sort of holding area and instructed to go speak to certain people at certain times. Instead, and possibly because it was just Edward and me, we were told by the publicist to "grab whoever" for interviews "whenever you want." Talking to Jennifer Garner is intimidating enough in a sterile, controlled environment, but just strolling up unannounced and sticking a tape recorder in her face was something altogether different.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-27 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 51 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790000 If The Internet Named Movies Thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790000 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/5/collegehumor.410f4f84538571c78218e93585c6a5bb.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-20 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 769 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1788835 5 Literal Movie Posters Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1788835 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Showgirls:

Int: Showgirls Strip Club. A sexy cowgirl finishes her lasso routine.

DJ: All right, fellas, give one last yippee-kai-yay to Veronica!

Customers: Wooo!

DJ: Next up we have.... we have... oh no, oh jesus god no, not again... ahem, I said, next up we have the slim and sexy Cassandra!

Cassandra enters.

Customers: (screams, gagging noises)

DJ:Cassandra is 20 years old and her hobbies include being the only one-legged, no-armed stripper at Showgirls. She's all woman, folks. Well... actually, she's like... thirty-five percent of a woman, but what parts of her the sharks didn't take off are still... are still... please, I don't want to read this...

Customer 1: I think I'm going to throw up.

Customer 2: You just threw up!

Customer 1: I think I'm going to throw up forever.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/b/collegehumor.688014cc4e3f51335e8cf30b65685d54.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-27 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747720">Owen Parsons</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 256 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787949 Assorted Jelly Beans - Scissorhands Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787949 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Here is the third installment of Assorted Jelly Beans. A one panel comic written by myself and illustrated by Steve Dressler.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:767801"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/b/collegehumor.f349af5d8c155b8e2667ed4b6bfea181.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-16 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:767801">Ben Schwartz</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:257"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 95 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1788129 Ten Original Singles Way Better than the Movies they Came From Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:30:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1788129 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> When good music meets good movies, it's a beautiful thing. When great music meets terrible movies, it's a hilarious thing. Here are 10 classic singles originally written for 10 not-so-classic films.

Stevie Wonder, "I Just Called to Say I Love You"
(from The Woman in Red)

Stevie Wonder's 1984 single has become such a ubiquitous expression of everyday love, its impossible to imagine the song taking any other route than straight from Wonder's smiling head to our 10th-grade Valentine's Day mix CDs. But the uncomfortable reality is that the tune was first played as a 50-year-old Gene Wilder lusted after a 25-year-old Kelly Lebrock. The Woman in Red was supposed to be the 10 to Gene Wilder's Dudley Moore, and Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" was supposed to be the kind of lighthearted song that makes audiences forget the quarter-century age gap between their on-screen lovers.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/5/collegehumor.a38249fddab8bb4c357d45a5e57a11dc.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-15 18:30:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982">Jeff & Patrick</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 81 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787943 Gloop, Augustus et al vs. Wonka Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787943 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1484743"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/f/collegehumor.66d559c6e6785c3aa3eabfbfd7da899f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-14 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1484743">David Siegel</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 143 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777561 Moviegoing: An Epic Quest Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777561 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Epic fail (wordplay!)

Without exams, papers, and dining-hall-induced digestive issues, summer should be easy and relaxing, right? SO EXTREMELY WRONG! Take moviegoing, second only to outdoor drinking on the Summer Fun Index. Your quest for entertainment is actually a modern retelling of the ancient hero's journey. Your experience will be exactly like Star Wars, the Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and countless other epics! Just less exciting, and with uglier actors.

THE HERO'S DEPARTURE

"I'm sooo bored. Let's do something. Let's see a movie." The call to adventure! You might be skeptical at first. All the best heroes are. Important questions stand in your way: What is "the matrix"? What is "the force"? What movies don't suck this week? As you learn the answers, avoid being seduced by power and turning evil (see: Vader, Voldemort, Lucifer, Gollum). In your case, consider the "dark side" to be anyone who spells movie theater with an "re. (The THEATRE is for Neil Simon plays, black berets and the French. The THEATER is for Jerry Bruckheimer and America. You're going to the theater.)

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1633334"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/0/collegehumor.28312b2ae0149c00422e87d022e79e25.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-06-16 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1633334">Hallie Cantor</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:211"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 7 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776829 GI Joe Recruitment Posters Thu, 04 Jun 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776829 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Why I Would Be More Inclined To Join GI Joe Over Other Branches Of The Military.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:34106"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/e/collegehumor.19dc6c6166e28b864a1f0ece84a80bf0.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-06-04 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:34106">Ben Joseph</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 400 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776189 James Cameron Reacts to Terminator Salvation Wed, 27 May 2009 13:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776189 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:328495"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/7/collegehumor.1a8d4bdd12eb35c73182c827b94ab675.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-27 13:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:328495">Chase Mitchell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:7"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 99 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776465 Seven Movie Posters That Almost Were Wed, 27 May 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776465 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Traditionally, historians don't like to play "what if" with history. You can't change the past, so better to focus on what did happen, not what could have happened. Of course, while history majors were getting their PhD's, the rest of us were hanging around our dorms, wondering what it'd be like if some of our favorite films had went with their original leading men.

American Psycho
(Leonardo DiCaprio as Patrick Bateman)

Shortly after its publication in 1991, Bret Easton Ellis's notoriously violent 1991 novel was deemed "unfilmable." Of course in movie parlance "unfilmable" is shorthand for "unfilmable until sufficient hype is built up," and 10 years of rumors and unproduced scripts followed -- including talk of Johnny Depp in the lead role. But it was Leonardo DiCaprio who came closest to filling Patrick Bateman's blood-splattered tennis shoes when Lions Gate Films officially announced DiCaprio was cast as the film's lead. Fortunately, DiCaprio soon realized the hordes of 13-year-old girls who fell in love with him in Titanic may not be best served by seeing their idol chase a terrified hooker with a chainsaw, and the role went to Christan Bale.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/5/collegehumor.a38249fddab8bb4c357d45a5e57a11dc.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-27 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982">Jeff & Patrick</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 214 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775979 Failed Terminator Models Wed, 20 May 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775979 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/8/collegehumor.6eb639fd06721655a3e45cf8154fb0a4.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-20 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923">Andrew B.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 399 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775958 Six Movies You Should Only Watch While Stoned Mon, 18 May 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775958 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Why It Sucks:
How to kill a multi-billion dollar superhero franchise? Camp, rubber nipples, and enough homoeroticism to sink a frat house full of bodybuilders. Also, bat-skates. It would take Chris Nolan's dark, gritty reboot The Dark Knight to make Batman a billionaire again. (Also, to make people instantly sick of the phrase "dark, gritty, reboot.")

Why It's Good High:
An Oscar-winning performance, a compelling narrative, and meditations on the nature of right and wrong. Bright colors, cartoonishly exaggerated set pieces, Alicia Silverstone's cleavage. One of these lists spells "stoner bait", the other has Maggie Gyllenhal whining so much that you just want someone to tie her to a chair and set her on fire (too soon?). If you need any more convincing of B&R's unique charms:

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:34106"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/e/collegehumor.19dc6c6166e28b864a1f0ece84a80bf0.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-18 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:34106">Ben Joseph</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 146 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775708 Movie Posters By An Ad Company That Clearly Never Saw The Movie Thu, 14 May 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775708 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1743004"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/3/collegehumor.23bfdb70417a7513e99138f30f4b2c11.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-14 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1743004">Max Kinchen</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 320 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775295 Reviews For The Next Six Indiana Jones Movies Tue, 05 May 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1775295 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Indy 5 - Indiana Jones and the Scepter of Shaman-Ra
With Ford declining to return, Shia LaBeouf takes over the title role. Sidekick duties are taken up by series newcomer Joe Jonas, who appears as Indy's orphaned Chinese nephew in a performance most critics call "breathtakingly racist." Crew's apathy is apparent, and impressive CGI fails to cover fact that the film's third act plagiarizes directly from National Lampoon's "Animal House".

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1923137"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/e/collegehumor.6f58c00dbbe720bed76d4a9ef3189fa3.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-05-05 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1923137">Owen and Ben</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 121 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1774659 10 Fictional Camps You Do Not Want To Send Your Kids To Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:33:27 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1774659 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

From Friday the 13th

Let's ignore the fact that Camp Crystal Lake refuses to close despite annual serial-killer attacks for a moment. Not that you should, as a parent, but even without a resident murderer, it isn't a safe place for children. Supervision at the camp is non-existent. Would you send your daughter to a brothel for the summer? Then why would you send her to a camp where the counselors spend all of their time skinny dipping and f*cking each other. That's exactly the kind of neglect that let little Jason Voorhees drown in Crystal Lake back in 1957. You can call Mrs. Voorhees a psychopath for coming back to kill counselors 23 years later, but wouldn't you want to do the same in her place?

Also, there are annual serial killer attacks.

Campers Murdered: All of them

Camp Policies Reformed Due to Past Mistakes: Zero

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/5/collegehumor.410f4f84538571c78218e93585c6a5bb.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-04-24 18:33:27 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 114 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />