CollegeHumor: Old Timey Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787741 Restaurant Origins: Chuck E. Cheese Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787741 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.aefefba05adec0eb158d18dd8d36a1b2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-09 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 407 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735852 Oklahoma Archie Boone's Bartending School: 1891 Tue, 10 Jul 2007 11:35:52 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735852 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> If’n any of you sissies ain’t got the stones to complete this training, I’m warning you; ya’ll better up and skip town b’fore ol’ Rotten Rudy gets a hold of yer sorry keysters when he comes in directly. Anybody? Go on, git!

Alright, that leaves seven of us: five of ya’ll, one of me, and this here 24-foot polished pine bar. She’s gonna be yer best friend and yer worst enemy. You’re gonna learn every square inch of this here bar, and by gum, you’re gonna love it. But don’t get cocky—this bar can be a hideous bitch-child when it wants to be.

Now, I’m jus’ gonna get straight to it. You came here to learn to be a saloon bartender, and dag nab it, there’s just about one thing you need to know, and that’s how to sling a sarsaparilla! Right, first thing is to keep this here bar nice an’ oiled up, boys. And there’s one way to do that as far as ol’ Oklahoma here’s concerned. And that’s with Spotley’s Tung Oil. A coat ev’ry sunrise keeps this bar slick enough to sling a cactus down.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:169669"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/d/collegehumor.94bcea8f4e7f70807e9844dd69468b5c.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:169669">jake barnes</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:73"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 3 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />