CollegeHumor: Peanut Butter Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733332 I Think Jelly Has Been Editing My Wikipedia... Fri, 08 Jun 2007 13:45:58 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733332 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Peanut Butter

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Peanut Butter (also known as Nut Smear) is an unattractive, greasy paste made primarily from peanuts and mouse droppings. It is popular primarily in the United States, where fat people eat it by the spoonful.


History

In 1890, suspected communist George A Bayle Jr. created peanut butter as a kind of cement to bind dentures to the gums.[citation needed] Soon after an unknown child did the unthinkable and combined the paste with delicious jelly on a piece of bread. By 1904 people everywhere were tainting perfectly delicious Jelly sandwiches by smearing on greasy peanut butter. In 1929 the Great depression struck America. Sometime later, an unknown person coined the term "PB&J" which is like saying Garfunkle and Simon.


Health Benefits

Because of peanut butter's high fat, grease and calorie count, it is an ideal food to give to recovering anorexics whose taste buds are so damaged that they don't even mind the taste.[citation needed]

Health Concerns

Many public schools have wisely banned peanut butter due to increasingly prevalent and deadly peanut allergies in American children. It is estimated that as many as five thousand children die every year due to peanut allergies. Despite health concerns, however, peanut butter is still stocked in almost every American grocery store. Unlike peanut allergies, fruit allergies are extremely rare and almost never fatal.

Origins In The Middle East

Peanut butter was first introduced to the region by Turks who brought it home from business trips in Europe. Due to Peanut Butter's unnaturally long shelf life, it is an ideal food for desert and cave-dwelling peoples. Osama Bin Laden, the terrorist leader responsible for the 9/11 attacks, has supposedly credited peanut butter with giving him the mobility his needs to elude coalition forces.[citation needed] Fruit products, free from the chemical preservatives in peanut butter, would never keep long enough to allow a terrorist to escape the arm of justice for so long.

External links

The J.M. Smucker company - Makers of fine fruit jams and jellies.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:476381"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/2/collegehumor.028cf612bce0fe1565c024f2d2100259.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-06-08 13:45:58 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:476381">Peanut Butter</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:725"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 82 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />