CollegeHumor: Poetry Corner Articles This Month

CollegeHumor: Poetry Corner Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1736781 On Non-Rhyming Poetry Mon, 23 Jul 2007 10:30:01 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1736781 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Poetry, poetry,
You're sly as a fox
Efforts to write you
Wind up on the rocks.
For you to be good
Your couplings must rhyme.
Your syllabic beats
Must all be in time

But why is it then
when studying you
The "best" poems out there
have nothing to do
With rhyming, timing
or making much sense?
They're all about "mood,"
emotions condensed.

So I ask you this,
What's so hard about
forming a sentence
with rhymes taken out?
Weird punctuation
and grammar forgot.
Seems pretty simple,
Let's give it a shot

Screaming eagles descend from the West
Chasing the sleep from my eyes.
BURN, they yell, BURN. Always burn. But there is you.
The
Wetness
Clings
To my hair, rolls down my face...to YOU.
BOLD
I wear what I will without
without
WITHout
withOUT!
you?
Twisting scenarios in my mind play out in REAL. TIME.
Without?
No, I say. WITHIN!

That sure was easy
it took little time.
Makes it much quicker
when it doesn't rhyme.
Poets remember
For your work to shine:
Writing is human
But rhyme is divine.

Submit your hilarious poems to The Poetry Corner! Write one, post it as an article, and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.
Check out past poems here.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-07-23 10:30:01 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 27 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1736303 Deathly Bellows Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:21:13 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1736303 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

I skipped work today to see Harry Potter.
I thought it would quench, but it only did fodder
My desperate need for that final book.
I need it. I need it! I just want a look.
J.K, I am really not kidding at all.

My Amazon order had better not stall.
A new rumor says that Hermione will die,
But I'm here to tell you that really won't fly.
Harry should die and we all surely know it,
So in the new book I'm hoping you show it.
And, seriously now, Snape can't be bad,
I just know he must be a good-hearted cad.
And Dumbledore, Dumbledore cannot be dead.
Please say, like the Phoenix, his return's ahead.
Now Voldemort, he had best get the axe.
I don't care how, someway awesome perhaps?
I just know that his nose will be stuck in our minds
(And who was the genius who cast old Ralph Fiennes?)
He truly was creepy and the movie was great,
But Amazon, really, don't be f*cking late.
I read the last book in one rapid sitting
And I'll do it again. I will not be splitting.
Cover to cover, who needs to savor?
Ms. Rowling, however, I have one last favor:
I have many questions. Please answer them there.
I'm not like a nerd so I don't really care,
But, truly, you must say before it all ends
Why all of the wizards refuse to use pens.

Submit your hilarious poems to The Poetry Corner! Write one, post it as an article, and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.
Check out past poems here.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/4/collegehumor.8879997c887ae4b37f766c44f2de531f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-07-16 10:21:13 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989">Susanna Wolff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 17 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735349 Requiem For A Friendship Mon, 02 Jul 2007 09:00:39 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1735349 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

You're my best friend
I know you so well,
But in your cold heart
A sickness does dwell.

It was like any day
We'd passed through before.
I spotted your iPod
Charging by the door.

"I wonder what songs
my friend listens to?"
I said to myself
Thinking fondly of you.

And picking it up
and turning it on
I found something vile
My smile was gone.

The bar halfway through,
the pause lines were lit.
I could not believe
you'd listen to this.

With trembling hands
I put it back down.
Wondering how
you hid this so long.

You were my best friend,
But you'll have to resign,
Because friends who rock Fergie
Are no friends of mine!

Submit your hilarious poems to The Poetry Corner! Write one, post it as an article, and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-07-02 09:00:39 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 10 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1734429 A Poem for Shel Wed, 20 Jun 2007 16:47:33 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1734429 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

You really should not have included a photo;
You look even worse than Hernando Desoto.
Your beard and your eyes, your 'stache and your balding,
You may not have heard, but they're all so appalling.
It's a wonder, I swear, you became a rich poet
Though you looked in the mirror and said, "Yes, I'll show it."
By "it" I, of course, mean that grizzly-ass face,
Which would make any woman go run for her mace.
Your eyes do not twinkle. They're just dark and insane.
How could you have thought you would rocket to fame?
But you did, Mr. Silverstein; somehow you did
Though your picture should surely have frightened a kid.
You look like a pervert, a creep, and a sleaze,
But nevertheless, kids and parents say, "Please,
May I have a new copy of A Light in the Attic?"
Even though you sure look like a dingy crack addict.
You're really not pretty. You don't even look kind,
But all of those fans just seem not to mind.
I guess that your rhymes are too good to deny,
So Shel, what I'm saying is you're a swell guy.

Submit your hilarious poems to The Poetry Corner! Write one, post it as an article, and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.
Check out past poems here.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/4/collegehumor.8879997c887ae4b37f766c44f2de531f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-06-20 16:47:33 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989">Susanna Wolff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 19 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />