CollegeHumor: Rants And Raves Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1724389 Papa John Calls An Emergency Meeting Mon, 26 Mar 2007 00:13:34 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1724389 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> OK, everybody listen the f*ck up right now.  I want your full goddamn attention on me, the big guy, the number one man in this dump: the Papa.  Here's what I want you pack of retards to tell me:  could you all get any f*cking stupider?  I'm sick of all the bullsh*t floating around in this company, you hear me?  The gloves are coming off (points to self with two thumbs) and this motherf*cker is gonna be throwing the punches.

I've been in the Za biz a long time - a long motherf*cking time - and I can see when sh*t is about to hit the fan.  Our first quarter earnings are a disgrace.  Are you telling me that Domino's is moving twice the pie we are?  TWICE THE MOTHERF*CKING PIE?!  What the f*ck am I paying all you dirtbags for?  Huh?  Oh, don't apologize to me, you pack of weak-kneed faggots; apologize to my wife, who's catching a beatin' when I get home tonight.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-03-26 00:13:34 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 81 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1728945 Theater Majors are the Worst People Ever Fri, 27 Apr 2007 12:13:23 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1728945 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Come on.  I know you agree.  I just have to get this out of my system.  But before I do, let me take this opportunity to say that I mean no disrespect to the five theater kids out there reading this who are actually cool.

And it makes me cringe to write that.  You know why?  Every horrible theater kid who read that thinks that he or she is one of those five.  Ugh.

Maybe I should back up for a second.  Maybe some of you out there don’t have a theater major in your school, or maybe some of you know some theater kids who you think “aren’t that bad.”  Please allow me this opportunity to not only disagree with you, but to prove to you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that these kids are truly the worst people ever.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:563001"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/9/collegehumor.cf54b46b2f97049222ea03d9cd14a553.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:563001">Kev Kage</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 57 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />