Oasis

You: Noel, get out of my bed.
Noel: Liam blocked off that side of the room.
You: We live in a triple! How can you not find some other place?
Liam: Cause he's a wanker!
Noel: Shut up! Shut up! I'm comin' ove' there and punchin' you square in the mouth.
Liam: Why don't you just quit being our roommate?
You: Both of you please just go to sleep.
Noel: I am the best part of this triple!
Liam: Sayin' it doesn't make it true, you twat.
Noel: I have decorated this entire room.
Liam: Well, I buy all the essentials like toilet paper and soap.
You: Both of you play integral parts in this roommate situation!
Noel: Too bad because I'm goin' move anyways.
Liam: You can't do that!
Noel: You've been telling me to move out this whole year.
You: He was probably just kidding. Please just sit down.
Liam: Now all the blame is goin' be on you if this triple gets a horrid roommate.
You: I feel like both of you are to blame-
Noel: Maybe I'll come back to throw a party with you guys.
You: That's unnecessary.
Liam: Like one where people pay to get in?
Noel: Yeah, one of those.
You: Why leave at all then?
Liam: Cause we hate each other right now.
Noel: And I hear there is a single room available down the hall.
You: But no one likes you when you are alone. You're very uninteresting!