CollegeHumor: Stories Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1771049 When Disaster Strikes Mon, 23 Feb 2009 14:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1771049 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>  

The second time I heard the girl say Hey, it dawned on me that her voice was projecting specifically in my direction. I turned and saw the only Hispanic student in my first period math class. She was wearing a black windbreaker and dark blue jeans. Young and progressive, I reminded myself that she stood out only because of her black windbreaker.

I realized that I did not know this girl's name. She returned my blank stare with a blanker stare, revealing that she didn't know my name either. We both looked at each other in the way a person might look at their mailman if they ever ran into him at a grocery store on a Sunday.

"You have dog poop on your shoe," the girl said.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1930469"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/default/collegehumor.baby.23.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-02-23 14:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1930469">Fandango527</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 27 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761516 The Skinny on Dipping Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:15:09 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761516 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
It was a 5x5 square, with tiered seating and separated from the pool by a 9" wide tiled partition.  It didn't have any bubbles to speak of but it did feature four jets from which spouted blisteringly hot water.  Many a day was spent backed up to one of the jets, feeling the hot water pour over my lower back.  As I grew older and began to sweat profusely at the slightest hint of heat- a wonderful trait I carry to this day - the idea of sitting in a pool of practically boiling water started to become less appealing. Luckily, being the inventive sort, I worked out a great system for balancing the pool's icy extreme with the hot tub's scorching heat: I would kneel in the pool and submerge my hands in the hot tub.  Much like my habit of driving in winter with the window down and the heat on, this method kept me in a relatively comfortable temperature range.  

But,of course, I'm not writing of my fascinating experiments in human thermodynamic regulation; I am writing about how my parents' desire to give my family a wholesome water-bound playground turned into anything but. 
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 335 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761769 The Mud Bath Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:41:53 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761769 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
It was my Aunt's idea. My girlfriend and I were staying with her in California and she had booked us into a little spa up in the wine country. Furthermore, she had booked us mud baths. My entire knowledge on the exact execution of a mud bath comes from what little I have seen in magazine ads and movies. I imagined it to be a very deep bath of, well, mud. I was wrong.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-07 21:41:53 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 49 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760163 Born for Porn: My quest to become the next great porn star Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:55:06 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760163 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Tom Cockplenty growing by the second at the AVN's
Every year the biggest and brightest starts in entertainment come together for one weekend to celebrate excellence in writing, acting and directing.

It's not the Golden Globes or the People's Choice Awards - it's the AVN Adult Video Awards in Las Vegas.

The AVN's are like the Oscars of porn. With nearly 100 categories including best group-sex scene and best big-bust series, the AVN's is an event where the stars of today shine - and the stars of tomorrow are born.

This is the reason I'm sitting on a plane traveling from Minneapolis to Las Vegas.

I've decided that it's time for me to realize one of my life-long dreams and become the next great male porn star.

With only 24 hours to launch myself into superstardom, I know that I'll need to get an early start. It's Friday night and I check myself into the hotel, have a few drinks and head off to bed to rest up for rise to greatness.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1560256"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/f/collegehumor.e84989b4eee11bf5b46f1c0f7d5fa3c4.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-05 13:55:06 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1560256">Patrick Strait</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 12 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />