CollegeHumor: Superman Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1757347 Why The Superman/Batman Movie Will Never Happen Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:39:24 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1757347 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> *Fade in on the Gotham City Police Department. Batman addresses Commissioner Jim Gordon and his officers.*

Batman: There's no time to waste. Two-Face is holding the Second National Bank hostage, and we-

*Superman bursts in.*

Superman: Yo, Bruce-man, sorry I'm late. What's the sitch?

Batman: Well, as I wrote in the comprehensive brief I sent out-

Superman: Oh, no worries, totally glanced over that. Double-Face, right? What's his deal again? Laser eyes? Super-speed?

Batman: No, he's, um, obsessed with the number two.

Superman: Ha! No, seriously. What's he do? Mind control?

Batman: Well, he also has this skin condition.

Superman: Are you f*cking kidding me? One sec.

*Superman crashes out through the wall.*
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:34106"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/e/collegehumor.19dc6c6166e28b864a1f0ece84a80bf0.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-06-15 15:39:24 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:34106">Ben Joseph</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 338 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752736 Creative People Being Uncreative Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:29:41 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752736 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Joe Shuster: Ok get this. There's this man, but he has supernatural powers. He can leap over buildings and stop bullets with his super chest. He's also blessed with super laser eyes and comes from a world made of sweet ice crystal things. His strength is not limited and he'll blend into society by working a regular job, but when duty calls he's there to save the day! He's like a man...but more super.

Jerry Siegel: Alright, what's his name?

Joe Shuster: ...super...man

Jerry Siegel: We'll come back to that. What does he wear as a disguise?

Joe Shuster: ...glasses.

Jerry Siegel: Damnit Joe you give me gold and then bomb. C'mon, let's go dress identically since it's the 1940's..

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:82266"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/2/collegehumor.77ae3585c23c13f242a39732b9c838ba.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-04-09 01:29:41 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:82266">Jonathan Motney</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:122"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 44 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751024 Clark Kent's Employee Review Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:33:17 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751024 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:8131"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/b/collegehumor.1227666bde5ffee443178ceb5e3a762f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-03-10 16:33:17 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:8131">Sean Curry</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:219"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 122 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1723101 Superman Edits Clark Kent's Wikipedia Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:24:02 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1723101 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Clark Joseph KentFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Clark Joseph Kent is a mild-mannered journalist for the Daily Planet. He has written award-winning stories on a variety of topics including earthquakes, bank heists, and robotic gorilla armies. In addition, Kent is well known for his slouch, clumsiness, and all around physical ineptitude. There's absolutely nothing exceptional about him, and further study of him would be a foolish waste of time. He is completely human.

Clark Kent is currently involved in a relationship with fellow reporter Lois Lane.

Journalistic Career

Though Kent's writing is generally considered excellent, his awkwardness has been known to interfere with his job. In one incident, Kent burned his mouth on coffee immediately after being assigned to cover a fire at a nearby orphanage. With Clark in the emergency room, no Daily Planet reporter was there when Superman showed up to save the orphans just moments before the building's collapse. This and many other similar incidents have upset upper management.


Kent-Superman Connection

Going on nothing more than childish gossip, many conspiracy theorists believe that Clark Kent knows Superman personally or is perhaps even related to him. Those who dispel the theory are quick to point out that Clark Kent wears glasses, while Superman does not. In addition, for Superman to portray a bumbling fool such as Clark Kent he would need to not only be a superhero, but also a master thespian. Superman and Clark Kent once appeared together at a banquet thrown by millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne.[citation needed]

External links

Clark Kent's articles on the Daily Planet website (registration required)
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.a53793ecf48193f7f17979c9baa80605.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-03-14 16:24:02 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279">Jeff Rubin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 54 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1717321 As a Cub Reporter, Clark Kent's Journalism Lacked Objectivity Wed, 31 Jan 2007 03:05:59 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1717321 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
"Body of Missing Man Found"

The body of a 30-year-old insurance salesman who had been reported missing since early last week was discovered dead in Metropolis Park Thursday.

Police interviewed on the scene said the man was shot six times in the chest at point-blank range, but did not reveal the cause of death....


"Construction Worker Falls from High Rise"

Tragedy struck the Metropolis financial district Monday when a 41-year-old sheetrock installer fell from the twenty-sixth floor of the unfinished Luthor Tower.

Witness to the accident were several of the man's coworkers, who were presumably too shocked to fly to the man's rescue....


"Metropolis U. Advances to Playoffs"

The Metropolis University football squad beat long-time rival Kansas State Tuesday, scoring a risky two-point conversion in the fourth quarter to win, 15-14.

However, famed Metropolis wide receiver Tommy White delivered a disappointing performance, running an average of 6 yards per play—a speed not remotely close to Mach 1.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/b/collegehumor.bf47a312f8c3b3d327c1333b4268bdca.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-01-31 03:05:59 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226">Patrick Cassels</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:857"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 21 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1726914 Lex Luthor: Is He Really An A-Hole? Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:39:31 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1726914 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> We’ve all read the comics.  We all know that Lex Luthor is an evil genius hell bent on the destruction of Earth’s "greatest hero," Superman.  But how much of that is just left wing liberal propaganda?  Really, is Lex Luthor as evil as we are lead to believe?  Or is Lex Luthor is merely a victim of a horrific smear campaign orchestrated by a lie- spewing, anti-American, communist comic book writing coalition?*

Does this sound ridiculous?  Well it shouldn’t.  Superman is an illegal immigrant who snuck into this country via rocket ship.  You think he has a green card? I don't. And to make matters worse, he's under-cutting the jobs from other hard working super heroes.*

"OMG a giant snowman is attacking Metropolis, what should we do?"

Are you going to call Robin- or do you want to call the guy with the power to melt things just by looking at them? But even this wasn’t enough, Superman also acts as Clark Kent and works as a reporter. Looks like Superman's real power is stealing as many jobs as he can from hard-working Americans. Not to mention the fact that he's manipulated Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen into joining his malicious army fighting battles against the American dream.*
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:732751"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/8/collegehumor.5a988d37b6caec687aa1cbb81b3ac7da.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:732751">James Calvey</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 22 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />