Bill: Maybe I'll finally clean out the rain gutters this weekend.

Mandy: Right, and I'll do cartwheels on the moon!

Laugh track plays. Their wacky neighbor DONALDSON enters to wild applause. 

Donaldson: So! I've entered the marathon. You gonna be my training partner, buddy?

Mandy: Nice try. The only running Bill does is towards a cherry pie! (Laugh track plays.) And the only miles he sees are on his belt loop! (Laugh track plays even louder!)

Accordingto Bill, the couple have not had intercourse for several months.

Bill: You know Mandy, that really hurts my feelings. Your incessant digs about my weight are putting a massive strain on an already shaky marriage.

Mandy: Uh...I thought the only thing undergoing a massive strain was the seat of your jeans! (Laugh track plays quietly.)

Bill: Have you asked yourself why you feel the need to hide behind jokes and communicate with passive-aggression?

Mandy: Well excuse me! Do you think I wanted to get married to a chunky, ambitionless plumber? I have a B.A. in art history!

Donaldson: Oooh baby, it's getting serious in here. Bill, buddy, if you change your mind, I'll be on the track. It's gonna be a heck of a 'thon!

Bill: And you, Donaldson. You've been a trusted neighbor and friend for 2 years, plus summer reruns. Yet your antics have gotten my car towed, my boss on the verge of firing me twice, and I had to have my stomach pumped in the episode where I ate your homemade blood sausage. Do you feel no remorse about the major inconveniences you've caused me what feels like every single week?

Of all the pundits on television, Glenn Beck is the most outspoken despiser of phony, disingenuous, and opportunistic politicians and celebrities who turn their personal problems and the problems of others into self-indulgent money making business opportunities. And if you don't believe me, then watch his television show, or listen to his radio show, or read one of his books, or purchase a ticket to one of his live shows, where he is sure to delve into his personal story as a former alcoholic who got clean, got married, and then re-discovered religion. Beck's call for an end to political correctness carries a lot of weight, especially since he is a member of the group for whom political correctness has affected the most, the white Christian male population.

Celebrity Resemblance: Barney Rubble, but less human.

Drinking game: Chug a beer every time he complains about the Republican party, then endorses every single one of their candidates.

If He Were A 90s Band, He'd Be: Everclear, then Creed.

Douche-o-meter: 6 O'Reillys

This makes me laugh every time I look at it. I love how "Chad" is so non-plussed and oddly  resigned that the only thing he can do is send out an mass email to his friends about his  "crazy"situation.

Personally I picture Chad living in a world where his roomate is constantly masturbating all around their apartment and it's like bad 80's sitcom like "Perfect Strangers" called, "Playing  with each Other."  The opening credits would be all about their crazy living situation as Chad  tries to go about his normal life with his "crazy" roommate. You'd see him trying to find a box of cereal and then he turns around to to see his roommate using the cereal box to masturbate (shot tastefully of course) and he just shrugs and laughs while synthesized upbeat music plays. The closing credit shot would be late night in their apartment Chad is watching TV and sitting next to him is his roommate furiously masturbating, he looks over smiles then lifts the remote and clicks it and the screen goes to black, just like he's shutting off your TV. In my world this show is canceled  right after the opening credits.