CollegeHumor: Wikipedia Articles This Month

You're Friends With a Website

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
The Wikipedia
This self-important, impressionable young man can usually be found at parties. He's the one wearing slightly more formal clothes than everyone else. Eager for social acceptance, he relies on his admittedly impressive knowledge of several interesting subjects to connect with guys and girls alike, before ruining it all when he takes things just that one step too far. "Did you know Paul McCartney isn't really alive?" He'll ask, frantically gazing into your eyes praying not to see that flicker of doubt he's so used to seeing. No, no I didn't know that, Wikipedia Boy. And neither do you.
Watch out for: Vandalism. As long as you're cooler than him, he'll believe and recycle anything you say.

The Digg
This guy's alright. No, really. He's pretty cool. He knows what's what when it comes to "stuff". It sounds stupid but "stuff" is an important facet of everyday life. We need this guy when we don't even know it. We're bored and tired and we want something funny/disgusting/interesting to watch or read and here's Digg, coming to the rescue with his always inspired (though sometimes a little dated) material.
Watch out for: The betrayal. Feel like showing digg something YOU found? Better hope it's not something he dislikes or has seen before. Be warned.

Keep Reading

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2121802"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/5/collegehumor.218f593a64bda80e5dd9f085f32e7c93.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-17 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2121802">Tom Philip</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 26 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

Every Nickelback Wikipedia Page Vandalism Ever

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:00:00 -0400

"Nickelfart is a Canadian retard band"

Wikipedia is a wonderful place to share information. It's also a wonderful place for immature people to call things they hate "gay." Few things are as universally hated as Nickelback, so we had our interns scour their Wikipedia history to find every instance of vandalizism. We've compiled the results into one big Nickelback-bashing video.

Click Keep Reading to check it out! Warning: As you can imagine, it's full of curse words, homophobia and racial slurs. Surprise.

Keep Reading

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.aefefba05adec0eb158d18dd8d36a1b2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-14 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 243 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

Eli Manning Edits Tom Brady's Wikipedia Page

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:56:03 -0500

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Tom Brady
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. (born August 3, 1977) is an American football quarterback for the New England Patriots of the National Football League. You can't tell by looking at him. He looks more like a seedy attorney. [citation needed]

History
In 1977, Tom and Galynn Brady gave birth to their unplanned chid, Tom. In High School, he was called names like "Tom Gay-dy" or "Tom Gay" or his least favorite, just simply "Gay." He didn't hit puberty until his freshman year at Michigan. He was picked for the NFL draft in the Sixth round. SIXTH ROUND! That's no first round like some famous quaterback...

Playing Career
Tom doesn't actually know the rules of football, he just knows when he has done something well, he is given a Milkbone. In the previous Super Bowl, Tom watched the "Puppy Bowl" on Animal Planet. He claims, it "inspired" him. Tom suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. This isn't related to his playing career, we just didn't have section for "diarrhea."

Family
Tom Brady's brother pretty much sucks at QB. His father didn't have a 67.1 QB rating. And his mother's name is Galynn, lol.

Personal Life
Tom dated Bridget Moynahan for two years. There, she suffered from blindness, not seeing his goofy face blankly staring at her. In 2006, they ended, after she recieved Lasik eye surgery. In early 2007, Moynahan announced she was pregnant with Tom's bastard child. Tom threw the baby 51 yards, which was quite impressive. Currently, he is dating Gisele Bundchen. Bundchen is German for "very attracted to average football players who have children out of wedlock," or "alliance."

External Links
Eli Manning's Myspace...Friend Me!!!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/e/collegehumor.e6ecc1ea45a24925c0772a0ee94f48a6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-02-01 15:56:03 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053">Doug Kellner</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:553"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 163 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

I Think Jelly Has Been Editing My Wikipedia...

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 13:45:58 -0400

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Peanut Butter

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Peanut Butter (also known as Nut Smear) is an unattractive, greasy paste made primarily from peanuts and mouse droppings. It is popular primarily in the United States, where fat people eat it by the spoonful.

History

In 1890, suspected communist George A Bayle Jr. created peanut butter as a kind of cement to bind dentures to the gums.^{[citation needed]} Soon after an unknown child did the unthinkable and combined the paste with delicious jelly on a piece of bread. By 1904 people everywhere were tainting perfectly delicious Jelly sandwiches by smearing on greasy peanut butter. In 1929 the Great depression struck America. Sometime later, an unknown person coined the term "PB&J" which is like saying Garfunkle and Simon.

Health Benefits

Because of peanut butter's high fat, grease and calorie count, it is an ideal food to give to recovering anorexics whose taste buds are so damaged that they don't even mind the taste.[citation needed]

Health Concerns

Many public schools have wisely banned peanut butter due to increasingly prevalent and deadly peanut allergies in American children. It is estimated that as many as five thousand children die every year due to peanut allergies. Despite health concerns, however, peanut butter is still stocked in almost every American grocery store. Unlike peanut allergies, fruit allergies are extremely rare and almost never fatal.

Origins In The Middle East

Peanut butter was first introduced to the region by Turks who brought it home from business trips in Europe. Due to Peanut Butter's unnaturally long shelf life, it is an ideal food for desert and cave-dwelling peoples. Osama Bin Laden, the terrorist leader responsible for the 9/11 attacks, has supposedly credited peanut butter with giving him the mobility his needs to elude coalition forces.^{[citation needed]} Fruit products, free from the chemical preservatives in peanut butter, would never keep long enough to allow a terrorist to escape the arm of justice for so long.

External links

The J.M. Smucker company - Makers of fine fruit jams and jellies.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:476381"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/2/collegehumor.028cf612bce0fe1565c024f2d2100259.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-06-08 13:45:58 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:476381">Peanut Butter</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:725"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 82 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

Superman Edits Clark Kent's Wikipedia

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:24:02 -0400

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Clark Joseph KentFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Clark Joseph Kent is a mild-mannered journalist for the Daily Planet. He has written award-winning stories on a variety of topics including earthquakes, bank heists, and robotic gorilla armies. In addition, Kent is well known for his slouch, clumsiness, and all around physical ineptitude. There's absolutely nothing exceptional about him, and further study of him would be a foolish waste of time. He is completely human.

Clark Kent is currently involved in a relationship with fellow reporter Lois Lane.

Journalistic Career

Though Kent's writing is generally considered excellent, his awkwardness has been known to interfere with his job. In one incident, Kent burned his mouth on coffee immediately after being assigned to cover a fire at a nearby orphanage. With Clark in the emergency room, no Daily Planet reporter was there when Superman showed up to save the orphans just moments before the building's collapse. This and many other similar incidents have upset upper management.

Kent-Superman Connection

Going on nothing more than childish gossip, many conspiracy theorists believe that Clark Kent knows Superman personally or is perhaps even related to him. Those who dispel the theory are quick to point out that Clark Kent wears glasses, while Superman does not. In addition, for Superman to portray a bumbling fool such as Clark Kent he would need to not only be a superhero, but also a master thespian. Superman and Clark Kent once appeared together at a banquet thrown by millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne.^{[citation needed]}

External links

Clark Kent's articles on the Daily Planet website (registration required)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.a53793ecf48193f7f17979c9baa80605.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-03-14 16:24:02 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279">Jeff Rubin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 54 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />