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Michelle Harmon

Year Sophomore
School University of South Carolina
Hometown Waxhaw, North Carolina
Major Philosophy

What's up?

Not a lot, listening to music and procrastinating. And yourself?



Well by some stroke of God this is actually my job, so I guess I'm working?

For some reason I have this visual of a bunch of quasi-adults spinning in desk chairs and drinking Red Bull.



That sounds about right. I'm not a Red Bull fan, though.

Technically I'm not allowed to be, as my father works for the company that makes Fury. But when no one's looking I've been known the have a Jagerbomb... or two.



Or nine.

Shh! Who have you been talking to?



So, what are you doing this weekend?

Well, this afternoon I'm actually going home to see an old friend before he goes back to the Air Force, but after that it's up in the air. I know my roommate has missed me lately, so hopefully we'll be having some fun!



The Air Force? That's kind of bad ass.

Tell me about it. I'm kind of a wimp; I couldn't do anything that intense haha. My strengths lie rather more towards the abstract- I can't do a single pull-up, but could talk to you all day about Kantian ethics and Protagorian relativism.



And I could run very fast away from you if you actually tried to do that.

Now that would make me sad.



All I'm saying is I'm a fast runner and that I don't want to listen to your ideas and opinions. What's so wrong about that?

So you're an athletic Republican?



Haha not even close.

Ah, then we can be friends!



So you hate athletes?

Can't stand them. Fit and driven, gross.



My kind of girl. How do you feel about a guy who eats cookies for breakfast?

Are they accompanied by cold pizza?



Pepperoni.

Hooray! It's best when it's been left out 'cause you were too lazy to put it in the fridge. Mmm.



Yeah room temperature is so good. It's like eating a room.

Heh heh. And if you do it too often, you look like you've eaten a room!



Zing! Let's go on a stand up tour.

Hurwitz and Harmon, Comedians Extraordinaire



Harmon and Hurwitz, a Magical Comic Experience for Your Loins

LOL! I love it! We'll be rich!



Okay now we just need to come up with more jokes. So far we have one.

So? Dane Cook doesn't have any, he just flails around and makes lots of noise. And HE gets to make out with Jessica Alba!



You're right, we should make out.

I'm flattered, but I know someone who'd kill you for that . So perhaps in the interest of your safety, we should call Jessica Alba instead.



The next best thing.