If you could live anywhere, where wouldn't it be?
What is your favorite jerky and why?
I've never had red meat or any kind of mammal, so I would have to default to turkey jerky. Habanero jerky, the kind you get out in the middle of the Mojave dessert, is epic.
If you could be any insect (excluding a butterfly) what would you be?
A firefly because I like bioluminescence (even if it's terrestrial).
You have to pitch a completely original show to a huge network. Go.
Ugh, "Tiny House" is already taken. It would be nice to see Mr. T have his own Food Network show.
If we all had novelty gravestones, what would yours say?
"If this grave's a rockin, don't come un-lockin."
What's the worst/best rumor you've ever heard about someone you know?
My parents told me that my little Yiddish grandmother was the bookkeeper for Studio 54.
When you use public restrooms do you hover over the toilet?
Pop a squat? Sure. The best is when there are senior citizen handlebars that you can use for leverage.
Have you ever gotten/given a wedgie?
Of course! The wedgie is truly a universal language. I remember the worst wedgie ever. I was like--nine?--and my friend picked me up off the ground. I still give wedgies, and it's funny when I wedgie someone wearing a thong and it takes them a few seconds to register the situation.
Do you legitimately hate anyone?
No, I haven't met Anyone, so I don't want to judge.
One thing you'd change about yourself:
I have a nervous laugh. I can never play poker.
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Get to know Maggie