Cute College Girls

Get to know Bethany

What do you get on your pizza?

Despite the ginny in me, I tend to keep it simple concerning pizza. Less is more, unless we are talking sauce, which is always welcome on my pizza by the boat load. I'll go as far to live by my pizza motto by picking off excess cheese if I feel it's overbearing. I hate excess cheese.

Describe your fantasy wedding. If it's too girly you lose.

Look, here is the deal, I wouldn't be the first person to tell you that I am the most un-girly of girls, possibly the un-girly-est of all time, but concerning weddings that is where I lose all my street cred. Now I'm not talking like stupid roses all over the place, but I'd like it to be nice, and I'd like it to only happen once. Ideally it would end up exactly like that wedding from "True Life: I'm getting married" with the obviously mafia involved couple from Staten Island... death threats to limo drivers, lobster fountains, the whole sha-bang... maybe not the whole sha-bang. I can do without the terrible lip injections and embarrassing groomsmen attire, but I'm up for negotiation.

If the moon became an independent nation what do you think would be a good name for the moon country?

I don't know a good name but I know exactly what I'd do with the place. First of all, it would provide the best location for the ultimate crappy reality dating show. You think it's hard trying to win over the love of blonde bi-sexual twins, try to do it with no gravity! And concerning the abundance of Chad Johnson jerseys made pre-name change? Well I've got the perfect place just for those on this new said moon nation.

If any fantasy creature could be real, what would you choose?

I think I would definitely choose the narwhal. It's so majestic with its extraordinary, magical unicorn tusk and resemblance to my favorite animal from the Atlanta Aquarium, the Beluga Whale. It's got all the necessary characteristics to just be a bad ass fantasy mammal, not to mention I bet it would be one hell of an underwater ride... Oh wait, the Narwhal exists? Son of a...

Did you ever go to a summer camp and hook-up?

That aspect of childhood sadly never existed for me. Is there a summer camp I can go to now and relive this important part of childhood I missed out on, singing songs by the camp fire followed by what I would imagine to be awkward fondling and sloppy make out sessions? If so, sign me up.

Dream job:

I've worked already for what seems like forever, so working to me is anything but a dream. If anything, this is my outlook concerning work, as explained by Dave Chappelle: "If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all f*cking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time." But honestly, if I HAD to work I think it would be awesome to work for ESPN. They need more hot girls on the sidelines to potentially get run over by 250 pound linemen. Or a rapper, for obvious reasons that need not be mentioned.

Shower or bath?

When the time comes to cleanse myself, I typically head for the shower. See, I used to like baths but then someone pointed out that in reality, you are just bathing in your own filth, and as much as that sounds like a great time, it's just not efficient.

Have you ever shot a gun?

Depends... who is asking? Because if you are with the police I don't have to answer any of your questions anymore. This interview is over.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

In my time line of teachers there has only really been one decent specimen to obtain a crush on, and I in fact had the opposite feelings for him... I had an un-crush. But for his own defense lots of pretty high school girls had crushes on him, and fortunately for them sometimes he was willing to return the favor.. if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, well I mean that he was sleeping with his students.

Do you think you could survive in the woods for a week?

There was a brief period in time where I was forced to be bed ridden for a while so I got a load of Survivor Man and Man VS Wild in. With the knowledge I obtained through such inspiring figures as Bear Gryls, I do believe I could survive in the woods for a week. I'm talking so much to the fact that I know just how to gut a llama to obtain its stomach to drain and drink water from... though I don't know how many llama carcasses I would come across in the woods... I also got an obscene amount of Intervention episodes in as well during that time, so we could go as far to say that I would be confidant enough to be able to survive in the woods while dealing with withdrawal symptoms from some hard drugs as well.