Tell us an original joke.
A guy is walking through the grocery store and a woman comes up to him and says, "Oh my god, I think you're the father of one of my kids." The guy says "Are you that skank I met in Vegas ten years ago??" She says, "No. I'm your son's elementary teacher."
Have you ever made a guy cry, why?
I don't remember, I hope not, but I think maybe once when I broke up with a boyfriend. Whoops.
A horse barn. I've been riding horses since I was young and will never get sick of it.
What's the funniest thing in the world to you?
Anybody that can make me laugh so hard that it hurts.
Length or girth?
It's all how you use it.
What's the worst movie you ever paid to see in theaters?
The Ring. That shit still gives me nightmares six years later.
If we all had novelty gravestones, what would yours say?
Something about being the coolest girl in the world I'm sure. No really, I don't know. Something about horses, and definitely the winter.
When you use public restrooms do you hover over the toilet?
Yes, or I put those paper seat covers down, you never know WHAT was going on there before you or what DISEASES are chillen there waiting.
Name all 4 Ninja Turtles, their master, then your favorite turtle and why.
Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo, Rafael, and Splinter. Not going to lie, I had to ask someone for help with this. I was deprived as a child apparently.
Democrat, Republican or Green?
Democrat, but I prefer to NOT start conversations about politics. They always end badly. Everyone is so goddamn opinionated.
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