I have no shame when it comes to "embarrassing songs." Anyone who knows me knows that I have a deep love for TERRIBLE 90's music, but I think what embarrasses my friends the most is that I know the words to, like, every ABBA song. There is no shame in glitter and disco.....

Practicing with my death metal band, Chemical Toilet. Check em out. Um....I guess waking up kinda early, around 9 or so, not hungover, and go swimming with my pups...and then eat a greasy burger from Dirty Martin's. Delish.

Jeez! Zack, for sure. Impeccable style, perfectly coifed hair, and wit as sharp as a razor blade can't be taught, and rarely do you find all three in a single person. You know why? Because those that encompass all three of these attributes aren't human at all.....they're gods. Zack Morris is a god.

Oh gosh...I dunno. I guess it wasn't that memorable? I think it might have been a "group date" cuz my parents didn't have an ounce of trust in me around boys (good call, Mom and Dad). The first boy I kissed was Robbie Lane and I met him while I was working as a member of the dock crew for the Texas International Fishing Tournament. I was covered in fish blood and guts, and out of the corner of my eye I saw this boy with radiant bleach blonde hair and mis-matched tube socks and the first pair of checkered Vans I had ever seen. Needless to say we made out later. Pretty epic.

I was just recently converted from PC to Mac, and now I can honestly say that my life has improved infinitely. My allergies are gone, my faucets have stopped leaking, and I have Stickies! Plus, 99% of my school no longer treats me like I have leprosy, AND I think the hipsters might even invite me to sit at their lunch table soon.

LIke explain them in a grammatical, teacher-appoved way? No thanks. I do that way to much in school.

When I was a kid I always wanted to be Ariel. I mean, what little girl doesn't want to be a mermaid? But now I'm older and I came to realize, Ariel is a ginger. So she was scratched off the list of hot Disney characters, obviously (jk I love the gingers of the world). Lindsay Lohan was in a bunch of Disney movies, does she count? No? oh....whatever...sleeping beauty I guess.

A couple of Lone Stars and a Sub Humans record. I've wanted to shave my head since the first time I heard the Distillers. Man, I was so much more hardcore when I was 13. I actually had dreads once, for like two weeks, but my mom made me brush them out because she didn't want me to have to shave my head later on. It was both painful AND embarrassing....painfully embarrassing even.

I'm Catholic. I can't answer a question like that. Now, if I wasn't restricted by a religion I don't really practice, I would say that I would kill Hitler by letting a bunch of old men gnaw on him with their toothless-gums until he was all gone. (I kinda stole my answer from Return of the Living Dead)

Right past the Muscle Milk vending machine and to the right of the tanning bed, but you look like you know exactly what I'm talking about. That giant vein popping out of your eye gives you away, you beef cake, you.