I wouldn't get them myself. I feel fine the way I am. But if someone else wants to, I'm not about to start a protest. Not my chest, not my business.

The slowest beer chugger in Northern America.

Most likely to dump her boyfriend the night before prom.

100% busy. I'm working until 9, then I'm running home to put on the first small tight dress I can find before heading straight to the bar to meet my friends. Dance up a storm. Shimmy. Moonwalk. Drink. Pass out cold.

Shower. Better for the environment. Less time consuming. Less boring.

Just ransacked my memories box to find this. I can't believe how "intelligent" (i.e. absurd and terrible at grammar) I was. 9th May/ 2000 Dear Diary, Today in some places was lousy. Jenny told me I was lying about walking down the street like an idiot even though I wasn't lying. But I enjoyed my first week at trampolining class. My mum embarrassed me by talking to me about breasts and she makes me feel so small, not breast wise- mentally wise. If Jen reads my diary I will smack her. She has no right. She's done it in my old diary if she does it again i'll never be her friend again.

Aged 12: Wearing a complete shiny black pleather outfit on non-uniform day. I was christened Trinity at school. Mainly though, I was wearing all pleather. Horrifying.

Preggers or death. Not sure which is worse.

One trillion. Easy.

More importantly, who are the people still buying their records? These people should be burned.