Contrast...? Contrasting...? I don't know, tell me!!!

Most of my ex boyfriends had much younger brothers and/or older sisters. Needless to say, I wasn't attracted to any of them.

Worst dare (maybe): One sunny summer day, circa 2000, my friend and I were rollerblading and happened to notice two squirrels gettin' busy on a nearby lawn. I don't know who dared who to do it, or if it was even a dare, but one of us threw something at the furry couple. After being interrupted, they were obviously pissed that we were c0ck blocking, and started chasing me and my friend down the street. Literally, the scariest thing ever. Think about it...you can't 'out-rollerblade' a squirrell; they're crazy to begin with, and these two were especially enraged due to their recent inability to finish. I remember being chased around a car & seeing my friend pass me with her hands in the air & screaming, while one of the rodents followed close behind. To this day I am still scared shitless when I see a squirrel. Word to the wise, don't interrupt rodents when they're in the throes of passion! You WILL regret it!

Taco Bell. For sure. I cannot tell you how many times I've ordered, "that thing shaped like a stop sign", after a good night of boozing and schmoozing.

Technically, no... more like "let go unexpectedly". I was hostessing at a steakhouse and we were shut down during brunch on a random Sunday afternoon. No one even knew it was going to happen, and we had customers eating and everything. The news covered it & everyone was sad. It was ridiculous, but still my favorite job to this date. I wouldn't really consider that being fired, but it sucked, that's for sure.

OK, I was in a haunted house with some friends and we didn't know that the people who work there sometimes actually chase you. Well, that happened, and I about pissed my pants. It was basically pitch black and my girlfriend and I held hands and screamed our heads off all the way through until the end. We were so scared that we didn't notice the dark ceiling sloped down and you had to literally get on your hands and knees to crawl through the exit so we ran right into the wall, face first. I had a black eye and a bloody nose, while she had a fat bleeding lip. I still have a huge bump in my nose that reminds me daily of this ridiculous experience. I f#@kng hate haunted houses!

I definitely like to spell words correctly.

Zero. Don't get me wrong, I love the occasional hostess treat, but Twinkies are just not my cup of tea.

Just Finished: You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again- by Heather McDonald. Reading now: Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs - by Chuck Klosterman

I do say "doucher" a lot. So... probably Step Brothers. lol.