When you see a hot celebrity or model who's married, you can't help but feel a little crushed. It ruins the whole illusion. Then when you find out she's married to some tough guy, it gets even worse. Like he's gonna see you staring at pictures of his wife on the Internet, climb through your computer screen, and then beat you up and take your lunch money.
Joanna's husband is some soccer player; I'm gonna assume from outside the U.S. because she called him a "footballer" (tee-hee). And if footballers are anything like their fans, I'm very scared of him.
Luckily, "monitor attack" technology doesn't exist yet. So we're in the clear.