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Parents Just Don't Understand

Your Parents Are Fools.

by Susanna Wolff 1 hour ago


Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they sendyou absurd text messages? Do they even know what a text message is?

If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, send it to parentsjustdontunderstand (at) gmail.com. And, hey, if we publish it, send your parents a link. They probably won't understand what it is.
Because they're stupid.
Your parents' Twitter.

Whenever my mom finds a website she likes or wants to visit again, she copies the address and pastes it in this word document she has. The word document is 4 pages of website addresses. The best part? It's titled "Website Favorites."
From Alex, Sierra College

My mom was using her laptop when she called me over, complaining that something was wrong. I arrived to find her frantically clicking a "Print This Article" button on a webpage. "It won't print!" she explained. We don't have a printer.
From Diggory, Beijing
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Cyanide and Happiness

by Cyanide & Happiness 3 hours ago

More Cyainde and Happiness at Explosm.net
 


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Awful Job Fair

by Susanna Wolff 21 hours ago
Summer is upon us and you know what that means: time to find a job. Any job. In honor of this vocational destitution, we have created an Awful Job Fair where you can rank the world's most terrible jobs.

When you were little, the worst jobs you could think of were being the totally sub par green Power Ranger, Steve from Blues Clues, or a teacher, but times have changed. The real world is harsh and full of bodily fluids. For instance, Septic Tank Cleaner, Elephant Artificial Inseminator, or Fluffer? Which sounds the most miserable? Vote here!

(And maybe be a little more wary of public handrails from now on.) 


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Hollywood Typos

by Derek Walborn 22 hours ago

The worst place for a typo is in a title. In the fast-paced Hollywood environment, promotional materials are often rushed through development long before title typos or misunderstandings are caught. Check out some of these past and present advertising disasters:




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See More:  movies   posters   hollywood   whoops  
Comments (97)   Facebook

Website Breakup

by Streeter Seidell yesterday
Girl Site: <Talk>?
Boy Site: <Yes>
Girl Site: </Love You>
Boy Site: <Why>?
Girl Site: <Changed><Life target="_blank">
Boy Site: </Go>
Girl Site: </Relationship>
Boy Site: <Friends>?
Girl Site: </Friends>
Boy Site: <Crying></Life>
Girl Site: </Crying></Being a baby> 


See More:  websites   conversations   break up  
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Facebook Purgatory

by Jeff Rosenberg yesterday
My friend Steve Dawson sent me this screenshot of his Facebook friend requests the other day and I thought I'd share it with you guys. The dude on the top is his dad, the second woman is his mom, the third is his 3rd grade teacher, the fourth is an old friend and I'm guessing you can figure out the last one on your own.


 


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Roommate Confessions

Issue 26

by Jeff Rosenberg yesterday


It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

My roommate was a jerk and a liar. Every morning after I finish my cereal, I let my dog finish up the milk and any leftover cereal. I then put it in the dishdrainer on top. That way he'll use it for his cereal without it being washed. He ate his cereal every morning with dog slobber and never noticed.
C, UIUC

Last year, I lived in a house with 6 other people. 1 of them, Dan, was an alcoholic. He also never bathed and actually stank up the entire house from the 2nd floor. It was like living with a homeless person because he also didn't pay rent and stole our booze, food, and various small things all the time. One day, I had bought some SoCo to mix up SoCo and lime for a party. We only used about 1/4 of it, because SoCo tastes like ass. I came back from work and found about 1/3 of what was left in the bottle missing. I figured that I must have miscounted it before. The next day, I come back from work and find another 1/3 missing and Dan's acting like his usual drunken self. All the booze-stealing finally pissed me off to a point where I couldn't let it go unchecked. I hid the bottle in my closet for the next few days and ordered some ipecac off of eBay. After it came in, I dumped a full bottle in the last of the SoCo and left it out. A couple days later, I come home from work and find chili sprayed all over the snow in the front yard and Dan inside holding his stomach. The bastard still had the nerve to tell me that he didn't steal any of my booze. He just vanished a few months later, so my friends got drunk and smashed up everything in his room and stole a few games, DVDs, and some stupid claw fantasy weapon, (he was a goth kid), and pissed all over his bed. Then they taped a plastic sheet over the door to keep out the smell. A few months later, he came back to grab all his shit and we haven't heard from him since.
Keith, School Not Given
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Your Future Roommate

by Jake Hurwitz 4 days ago
Dear future freshman... Somewhere in the world, your roommate just filled out his Roommate Selection Questionnaire.



 


Comments (91)   Facebook

The Weekly WYR

May 15th

by Jake Hurwitz 4 days ago


It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather...

  • Have a sweet car that turns into a Transformer like Bumblebee from the movie, or have the female Terminator from Terminator 3 be your personal body guard and sex slave? From jack
  • Live in the Narnia Kingdom, or live in Harry Potter's magical place? From Jimmy
  • Fart every time you orgasm, or orgasm every time you fart? From Mike
  • Be admired by ALL men in the world, or be loved only by the one woman you choose? From Cesar (Bruce)
  • Have sex with the hottest girl in your class, or have sex with every other girl in your class? From James
  • Never be able to wipe your butt after pooping, or never be able to dry off after taking a shower? From Dale
  • Have sex with anyone in the world anytime for a month., or get free food for the rest of your life? From Bradly
  • Never watch Lost ever again, or be forced to watch each new episode with someone who's never seen it before and tell them exactly what is going on? From Xavier

Finally, this week's winner of the You Don't Have Bad Sex With Jake Hurwitz Award is Jake's Dada, who sent in this.

  • Have terrible sex with Jake Hurwitz and never get off or have sex with a cousin and always be able to get off? From Jake's Dada

Sorry man, it just doesn't happen.

If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

  • First Name:
  • Last Name:
  • Would You Rather...

    or
 


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