Staff Picks: Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Articles, and Hotlinks on CollegeHumor
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video:Weak Sauce
A glaze you probably won't be seeing soon at your local restaurant. At least it's wet.
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video:Beer Run
Brian's having second thoughts.
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video:Pelican Eats Pigeon
It's all part of the circle of life.
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video:Font Conference
Double-spaced for length.
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video:Skate Smash
He needed more rocket packs.
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video:Scary Shadow
"What, are you gonna cry now?! Oh, you are?"
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video:Boyfriend Attacks
Dan accuses girls of cheating.
Just In…
The truth is out there. At least that's what we were told.
An Unpopular Comedian
"I just flew in from the battered women's shelter and boy are my arms tired!"
CH Live in NYC
from Streeter Seidell 2 hours ago
Just a reminder that tonight at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NYC CollegeHumor will be hosting its first stand up show. Things will get going at 9:30 and, once going, will feature Christian Finnegan, Jacqueline Novak, Pete Holmes and Jake & Amir. Jeff and I will host what promises to be, in the words of one fan, "An hour-long comedy show featuring comedians telling jokes on stage."
Reservations are sold out but there will be a standby line and tickets are just $5 if you're not in the first 100 through the door. Just be sure to get there early and wait it out on New York's beautiful public sidewalks (or, as the locals call them, "toilets").
Hope to see you there!
Gotham City's Job Postings Over the Years
by Scott Bennett 4 hours ago
Epic Burn
by Dan Gurewitch 5 hours agoTwo days ago, a CH reader named Claudio insulted my dear friend Amir's performance in our Font Conference video, noting that "suicide is an option." Amir usually welcomes such constructive criticism, but this time, he made an interesting discovery about his history with Claudio. The full exchange follows.
We know that not everybody will enjoy everything we do, and we love hearing your feedback (good and bad). That said, let this kind of shameless hypocrisy be a lesson to all would-be purposeless haters: Negativity for negativity's sake is gayyyyyyyyyyy. (Keep reading for responses to the burn.)
Summer Code of Conduct
by Tommy Wilder 7 hours agoDear Mr. Thomas "Tommy" Wilder,
I have received reports indicating that you have violated at least seven summer housing policies. Your alleged behavior infringes upon the Summer Housing Code of Conduct (2008 ed.), which prohibits:
"4. Sloth, including (but not limited to) the failure to maintain adequate hygiene, wash one's own garments, and/or wake up before 1:00 pm. Neglecting to do dishes, mow the lawn, take out the garbage, and/or other tasks that help us to function as a happy family with a cleaner, lovelier home than the McFaddens."
"7. Quarreling, which includes all instances of purposely directing verbal, physical, or emotional detriment towards your brother and sister. The stealing of remotes, the community computer, and/or the last bowl of Reeses Puffs is strictly prohibited."
"253. The ingestion of any foreign substance (tobacco, alcohol, and so forth) is forbidden both inside and outside of the home. Furthermore, it's bad for your health. Just look at Uncle Steve. You don't want to turn out like him, do you?"
Lisa: Lisa.
Rick The Stick: Alright Lisa. Well, we will be driving that white Yukon over there.
Lisa: Wow, that's big...
Rick The Stick: Tell me something I don't know...
*The two enter the car*
Rick The Stick: I forgot how tight this feels.
Lisa: Umm, maybe you can adjust your seat?
Rick The Stick: It's super warm, too.
Lisa: Should I put on the a/c?
Rick The Stick: Don't be silly angel. It feels good.
Lisa: ...Oh, Ok.
*Lisa turns on car*
Lisa: Alright, well I checked all my mirrors, my seat belt is fastened, I'm ready to go.
Rick The Stick: Ready to go? Already? Amateur. I could go all day... And I do.
Lisa: Huh? Ok, well I'm going to pull out of the parking lot then.
*The car pulls out onto an empty street*
| Year | Junior |
| School | Hofstra |
- If you could choose one Dinosaur to not be extinct which one would you choose?
- Definitely the Tyrannasaurus Rex strictly because he seems like a bad ass.
Lamest College Mascot
by Jeff Rosenberg yesterday
Ethan: How about that British Open? Man, pretty golfy, right?
Ethan: Probably a bad sign for golf that the most compelling non-Tiger figure out there was what was left of Greg Norman. Still, give Harrington credit for winning his second straight Claret Jug.
Amir: I have no idea what any of that means.
Ethan I think it means that people would rather see Tiger Woods play Golden Tee then watch anybody else play real golf. What do you think would get better ratings?
Amir: I'd rather watch Tiger play one of those bar games where you try to shoot the deer with the plastic gun. He would stalk that buck with such quiet intensity.
Ethan: Does Jason Taylor put the Redskins on top of the NFC East?
Amir: No. It doesn't even put their defense on the top of the NFC East. Cowboys secondary is great, Eagles added Asante Samuel and the Redskins trade some picks to get Jason Taylor who publicly stated that this is his last year in the NFL. This is what they get for having one of Clinton Portis' characters in charge of player personnel.
Ethan: Are you kidding me? Kid Bro Sweets is like Drew Rosenhaus himself, except he likes Reese's Pieces more. The Redskins' D wasn't all that bad last year, but their offense was pretty stagnant. Maybe Jim Zorn can fix it, but I'm also sure he's already in last place on my list of NFL coaches. (I go alphabetically, not based on ability.)
Amir: Is it that time of year for us to rank every offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator in the NFL?!
Man, that Elliot kid can't take a joke
yesterday
Matt and Jack,
I am so sorry. My roommate just explained to me what shaming is. The other day when I woke up and I was on fire, and you guys were both there laughing, well... I'm totally over it now. It's totally cool. I get that it's just something friends do to friends because they like each other so much. I think it's hilarious, now. When the scabs on my nuts come off I'll have a scar that looks like Abe Lincoln, which is great. So, yeah. I'm really sorry I panicked and had you both sent to prison. Misunderstanding.
Again, so, so sorry.
-Elliot
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Stop signs could use some improvements. First, they definitely need more dragons
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Arts and Crafts: build stuff with Internet blocks
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Who doesn’t love chocolate wangs? (Sponsored)
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Please be fake: Actually, I'm not sure if I want this to be real or fake
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Sesame Street is vulgar as heck
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Tis is a sad day indeed
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Ever wonder what you think? Let the great male survey tell you. Also works for girls pretending to be guys
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He's a loser, but at least he's not a quitter
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Foreign Maxim-type magazines rule
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Funny, not what I imagined happens in the ladies room
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Australian cats are so weird
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Man, that Elliot kid can't take a joke
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The Perry Bible Fellowship break didn't last long
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Game: Boxhead, the Zombie wars
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Perfect, I needed a new watermelon knife.
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Note to high school seniors: apply to UCLA
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I'm glad things have worked out for afro ninja
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Bar Rafaeli is a hot girl with lame name
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Quiana Grant is really giving those bikins the hard sell
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A video from World's Most Amazing Improv Disasters
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He's not good, but I wouldn't want to fight him
- Click here for r-rated hotlinks
Features! Wastes of Time, Surveys, Contests and More!
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Cheating Survey
We polled 30,000 college kids to find out how much cheating actually goes down on campus. All 30,000 may have actually told the truth, too.
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Submit by August 22nd 2008Worst Sunburn Contest
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Beer Pong vs Beirut
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The Great American Facebook Survey
According to a casual study of college students, "seriously everybody" uses Facebook. What's less clear is how they use it. What are your hundreds of friends and dozens of groups really up to?...
