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Orientation Week 2008

Back-to-School: A Video Primer

by Patrick Cassels 4 hours ago
Orientation Week is harvest season for funny videos. As students nationwide - and their cameras - return to campus for another semester of brilliant undergraduate antics, the Internet finds itself flush with a new lineup of dorm room pranks, classroom stunts, and alcohol-fueled bad decisions. Here's a selection of the greatest back-to-school videos CollegeHumor has had the unique honor of featuring:...

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Orientation Week 2008

Chimp Guevara

by Kevin Corrigan 5 hours ago
College is a time to experiment. For some people that means straight up dyking out at a frat party (NICE!). For others it could mean temporarily buying into crazy ideas, or learning to juggle. Whether you grew from a monkey or just want to hook up with a hot girl who did, our Viva La Evolucion poster has got you covered. They're also perfect for juggling if you buy three.


...drove my chevy to the brand new Collegehumor Store, but the Collegehumor store was a Web site.
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Mr. President, We Have A Situation...

by CH Staff 6 hours ago

You know that scene in every disaster movie where the rogue scientist with the crazy theory bursts into the Oval Office, shouting passionate warnings to the President of a looming global catastrophe?

This is that scene.

The polls for CollegeHumor's Most Epic Disaster Movie election are almost closed, and at publication, the British zombie thriller 28 DAYS LATER holds a powerful lead with a whopping 82% of the votes.

Don't like what you're reading? Think Dante's Peak or Tremors deserves the most votes? Can't stand the thought of a zombie movie from the land of King George III winning a Democratic election? It's not too late to have your voice heard! March proudly to CollegeHumor.com/DisasterMovie and cast your ballot for the apocalyptic flick you'd like to see inaugurated as Most Epic.

Before it's too late.
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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Jenna

cute college girl
YearFreshman
SchoolDuquesne
Have you ever made a guy cry, why?
Yes. I cheated... whoops.
If you could live anywhere, where wouldn't it be?
My hometown. The headline of our newspaper is about coyotes behind Wal-Mart.
What's the worst/best rumor you've ever heard about someone you know?
Worst: Ex-boyfriend getting with an ugly girl. Best: Ex-boyfriend getting with an ugly guy.
More Jenna
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Anatomy of a One Night Stand

by Sarah Schneider 9 hours ago
The way you sleep during a one night stand can say a lot about your feelings towards the situation…

 Wow, this actually feels nice. I could see this maybe going somewhere. But more importantly, if I’m really quiet I think I can stick it in again while she’s still sleeping.
God dammit. I KNEW I shouldn’t have ignored the fact that she had more armpit hair than me. Or that half-formed ballsac.
Ohhh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap. I can’t believe I used the ‘let’s be more than just friends’ line to get laid. Or the ‘you understand me better than anyone else’ line. Or the ‘I want you to be my girlfriend after this’ line.
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CollegeHumor Quiz

Are You the Party Grenade?

by CH Staff 10 hours ago
Every party has one key ingredient. I'm not talking about beer or that smell. I'm talking about a Grenade, that one unattractive girl that a guy's buddy has to "jump on" to clear the way for the seduction of her hot friend. Everyone fears having to take the grenade, but ladies, how can you tell if you are the grenade? Take this simple quiz:

Your body fat?
3% (1 point)
8% (2 points)
10% (3 points)
Yes. (4 points)

Which snack most accurately defines your body type?
Thin mints. (1 point)
Average-Weight Cheerios. (2 points)
Slightly Fat Baked Lays (3 points)
Morbidly Obese Baby Carrots (4 points)

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Orientation Week 2008

Caption Contest: Orientation Edition

by Susanna Wolff 12 hours ago

RULES: Submit your one best caption as a comment. No replies. No retries. Keep reading to vote on last week's best...
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COLLEGE!

by Jake Hurwitz yesterday

Welcome to college, freshmen!

This article is filled with pictures of things you should expect to see, do and have done to you your freshmen year. Honestly, if you don't see at LEAST two girls making out on a keg first semester you have to transfer.
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Orientation Week 2008

College Math

by CH Staff yesterday
While college life is great and way better than high school, there will still be some problems you can't avoid. Sorry. But we've got a few tried-and-true mathematical solutions to help you out.

When can I dump my orientation friends?
Most college kids handle making friends during orientation like they would a turn on Supermarket Sweep, grabbing as many as possible in a short amount of time. Thanks to this smash-and-grab mentality, you may find yourself with a crew of friends you don't really like. Don't worry, orientation friends can be swiftly tossed aside once you meet real friends in the weeks to come. Consult the following equation to figure out how long it will be until you can ignore The Greg-inator and pretend that conversation about shotgun v. handgun never happened:

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Orientation Week 2008

The Periodic Poster of Vulgarity

by Kevin Corrigan yesterday
Have you ever wondered what all of the different intercourse elements there are? . Have you ever wondered how many valence electrons a blowjob has? Two, and blowjobs are inert. Everyone knows that. If you didn't know that, don't worry. Collegehumor has your back. Our Periodic Poster is a great reference and includes all 6 anus, 6 perineum, 38 sex, 11 breast, 7 semen, 6 excrement, 6 cunnilingus, and 7 felatio elements, even the 16 penis elements and 16 vagina elements that have only been produced for short times in a lab.
(Click picture to buy, or you can click here, here, or here, NOT here, maybe here)

This poster and some of the following items are available in the brand new Collegehumor Store: t-shirts, hot air balloons, bear pheremones, more posters, candelabras, goose eggs, fiddles, magic beans, 8-way beer bongs, live tuna, rare paintings, battle axes, live salmon, mine carts, dead halibut, thyme, exercise bikes, the moon, unicycles.
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Features! Wastes of Time, Surveys, Contests and More!

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    CollegeHumor Live

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    Beer Pong vs Beirut

    Coke or Pepsi? Chocolate or vanilla? Beer pong or Beirut? These are the great questions of our age! Luckily, we figured out the answer to one of them...

  • Dormroom Recovery Project
    Submit by September 8th 2008
    Dormroom Recovery Project

    Living in a disgusting excuse of a dorm room? Axe wants to help change that. Send in pictures of your dirty room and...

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  • CHTV Podcast
    CHTV Podcast

    Have you always wanted to be able to watch your favorite CHTV videos on an airplane toilet? Now you can with our free CHTV Podcast.

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