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Post-election Facebook is the worst. From liberals and their celebratory status updates to conservatives and their paranoid diatribes, social networking is more annoying than ever. For every few sane people with political opinions they can keep to themselves or argue reasonably, there's one person who never shuts up. These people are not of one affiliation, but from all over the political spectrum.

Very Conservative

The Very Conservative adheres to a strict diet of Fox News and The Washington Times. She's positive that the world is going to end with a democrat in office and lives solely to tell you about it. Before the election, she was posting 10-page theses about how electing Barack Obama meant surrendering the country to communism. Now that the election is over, she's smugly suggesting that anyone who voted differently than her must be legally retarded. She's quick to declare America's inadequacy in electing a worthy leader, and quick to forget her candidate won the last two elections. She'd be willing to see America completely destroyed under President Obama just to say, "I told you so."

Sample Status Update: Gertrude is rolling her eyes at America. I can't believe anyone would vote for a Marxist, but I guess you can blame the liberal media for painting him as a savior.

Great news, horny boys.  The 'wear a bikini' memo officially went out in Hollywood this week.  Everyone from Stacy Keibler to Kristin Cavallari to Kim Kardashian hit the beach to remind us what breasts look like.  Thank God, I was starting to forget.  As apparently was Richard Simmons. (Hollywood Tuna, Egotastic, WWTDD)

Unfortunately for them, Bikini Week has all but entirely been overshadowed by the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, or as I like to call it, Your Spank Bank: Live.  Everyone from Adriana Lima to Heidi Klum to Marisa Miller hit the runway in the latest styles by VS.  And I'm sure the styles are exactly why you're looking at these pictures. (CelebSlam)

Ready for your head to explode?  The VS Fashion Show and Bikini Week collided in not one but two glorious photo shoots.  'But Sarah, how is this possible?' 'Shhh, there there. It'll all be over soon.' (Egotastic, IDLYITW)

And now, on to non-bikini/underwear news (cue unanimous groan).

Just kidding!  This bitch is wearing a plastic thong and no top at the beach!  Whaaaa! (WWTDD)

But seriously guys.

TRL officially aired its last episode this week, signing off MTV forever.  Aww, what a bummer.  Now we have to stop not watching it. (DListed)

Suri Cruise has been named #1 on Forbes' list of Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots, but sadly only #8 on their list of Hollywood's Sexiest Baby Asses. (DListed)

Big news, guys!  Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson finally had their baby last night.  It's name?  Oh, that's not important.  *clears throat*  Mmm.  Or whatever.  So let's--ok FINE.  It's Bronx.  Bronx Mowgli.  Yeah, like the Jungle Book kid.  WhatEVER I don't want to talk about it. (WWTDD)

The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.

The Nominees
  • A) Tufts UniversitySubmitted by James

    Professor: The statues were made out of tera cotta, who knows what that is?
    Genius: Isn't that a kind of cheese?

  • B) South Dakota State UniversitySubmitted by Nick

    Professor was showing a picture of a medieval statue called "Virgin and Child"

    The Brilliance: Wait, if she's a virgin, whose baby is she holding?
    Professor: That would be Mary holding Jesus.

cute college girl
YearJunior
SchoolUCI
Zack or Slater?
Slater of course.
Length or girth?
Neither haha.
Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, why?
Yes because it rocks.
If you could live anywhere, where wouldn't it be?
It wouldn't be Iraq.
cute college girl
YearFreshman
SchoolShepherd University
If you were to dance, would you do it like no one was watching?
Absolutely! But on the other hand who doesn't like an audience?
Can you unwrap a Starburst with your tongue?
I'm one of those people who say they can but then end up cheating and using my hands.

It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather...

  • Only be able to move by moonwalking, or only be able to move by C-walking? From Beepus
  • Get caught reading fan-fiction, or Get caught writing fan-fiction? From Joel
  • Fight a normal bear, or fight a robot bear that's trained to kill you, but you get to have a gun? From Gil
  • Have Obama be president, or still have Heath Ledger alive to reprise his role as the Joker in the next Batman film? From Zack
  • Summon cheese anytime into your hand, or ripen fruit just by touching it? From matteo
  • Become a Pokemon trainer, or be admitted to Hogwarts? From Carr

Finally, this week's winner of the I Read Them All Award is Corey, who sent in this.

  • Do you purposely skip and not publish my WYRs or do you not read all of them? From Corey

Every single one. FYI people "Watch a porno with your parents or starring your parents" is never going to be put on here.

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

NINTENDO 64!

It's almost Thanksgiving which means it's almost time to start shopping for Christmas. Christmas shopping can be a real pain in the ass and can really take some of the fun out of the holiday. But if you ever find yourself in a long line, carrying twelve bags and hating your life, remember this: a perfect Christmas gift is one of the only things that can turn a sane person into a screaming, babbling wreck without doing lasting damage. Like this kid...

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