Staff Picks: Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Articles, and Hotlinks on CollegeHumor

Online Spank Banking

by Streeter Seidell yesterday
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Celebrity Now

Pop Culture CliffsNotes: Sept 5

by Sarah Schneider yesterday

Happy belated Labor Day, everybody. Hope you all enjoyed your governmentally-sanctioned day off. Now maybe you won't notice how 30% or more of your pay goes to taxes. Just another victory for the common man!

Speaking of which, we currently have a legit MILF running for Vice President. Sure her retarded son might not be hers and her 17-year-old unwed daughter is knocked up, but hey, whose isn't? Plus, Tiny Fey can rest easy knowing a Lifetime movie role is coming her way in about 10 years. (DListed)

But enough of this politics stuff. Did you know Harry Potter lost his virginity on the set of the first Harry Potter movie to a crew member considerably older than him? No, not Richard Harris. Although that image plus this one starts to conjur up a pretty wild night. TALK ABOUT MAGICAL. (WWTDD)

This week David Duchovny checked into rehab for sex addiction. Apparently he decided that he spent an unhealthy amount of time looking at internet porn. While in rehab, he's also being treated for 'being a man' and 'breathing.' (IDLYITW)

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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Stephie

cute college girl
YearSenior
SchoolTufts University
Have you ever been fired from a job?
Nope, but ask me again after I check CollegeHumor 24/7 this week at work. (and then tell me if there are any positions available on your site because I wanna write for you guys.)
What's the most embarrassing song you know all the words to?
Oh gee wiz, there are so many. I've been really into "Glycerine" lately, though. Don't worry, Bush. I WON'T let the days go by.
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CollegeHumor Interview

Bill Burr

by Jake Klocksien yesterday
Most people will at least recognize Bill Burr from his appearances on "Chappelle's Show." The Massachusets-born comic has been in the business for over a decade and after a handful of Letterman & Conan appearances, a few short cable specials, and a previous comedy album, he is now landing his first hour-long special which can be seen August 31st on Comedy Central.

Unlike many comics, Burr can't be pinned down to only one style. He is able to successfully touch on political material, running over a large crowd of people in a car, racial material, and then segue into talking about how neutered dogs can help the nation's obesity problem.

He gained more recognition in 2006, when he delivered a very NSFW tirade to a massive Philadelphia audience, berating everything cherished by the city such as their sports teams, their mothers, and Rocky.

What made you want to get into standup as opposed to another form of comedy like writing or acting?

I always loved stand up comedy. When I was a kid, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world to be able to stand alone on a stage and make a crowd laugh their asses off. To me, the idea of doing something like that was both fascinating and absolutely terrifying.
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A Party Soliloquy

by Christian Hughes yesterday

This is the Minstrel Bro's and Medieval Ho's party right?

Noble guests, students ye,

patrons of universities,

I pray you cease your revelry

and hear my party soliloquy.

Here I sit, cup in hand

betwixt two dudes

who cannot stand.

The extent of their inebriation

surely merits incarceration.

Pong is played

cups are sunk,

rap is blaring,

bros are drunk,

Yet something here is wrong you see

a total sausage fest are we

Our party lacks the other sex,

the reason why has left us vexed.

But lo! A gift like heaven's manna!

In walk fair maidens of Delta Gamma!

No longer are we CEO's

bereft of classy office ho's

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CH Live NYC: Christian Finnegan

from CH Staff 2 days ago
CH Live NYC: Christian Finnegan
Watch This Now

You might recognize Christian Finnegan as one of the original panelists on VH1's "Best Week Ever," from his half-hour Comedy Central special or headlining the network's college tour. Maybe you've seen him host TV Land's "Game Time" or perform on all of the late night talk shows. After a break-out role on "Chappelle's Show," the NYU-grad has become one of today's top comics.Unlike most of his peers, the stand-up bug didn't bite Christian until he was done with school. "After college, I worked in publishing for a while, with plans to be a bonafide 'writer' type," he says. "Before long, I realized I don't have the work ethic for that sort of thing, so I sought solace in dick jokes."Christian may be known as a pop-culture enthusiast, but his pleasantly-neurotic material also covers widespread topics like marriage, summer weather and even boobs. He keeps busy touring the country, and has shows throughout the Midwest this fall. If you'd like to book Christian at your club or college, please contact Avi Gilbert at APA (agilbert@apanewyork.com). For more info, please visit ChristianFinnegan.comMake reservations now for the next CollegeHumor Live show. September 22nd, 9:30 PM at the UCB Theatre. Reserve Tickets SUCKAH!


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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Rebecca

cute college girl
YearSophomore
SchoolUNC at Charlotte
If it was legal and socially acceptable, would you try human meat?
No way. I just have this weird feeling that it wouldn't taste very good. Oh wait unless it had a bunch of A1 sauce that stuff is delicious. Kidding.
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Roommate Confessions

Issue 41

by Jeff Rosenberg 2 days ago

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our new submission page!

My sophomore year roommate was an alright guy, we chose to live together and everything. But he didn't really have a lot of friends other than me, so he would constantly follow me to lacrosse team parties and barbeques and just stand there not talking to anyone. Also, He constantly smelled like pipe tobacco because he would smoke in the room (and inhale!). I convinced him finally to rush a fraternity, which even though it had been something I had always been an avid opponent of, it seemed like a good fit for him. It worked out great for most of the semester because he was never in the room, and I could actually watch something besides Battlestar Galactica. On the night of his formal initiation or whatever, I came home at 3am with my current squeeze to find him with his suit pants around his ankles, swaying like a palm tree in a tropical storm, pissing all over my bed. I screamed his name but he was too obliterated to even process my voice. I suggested to my hussy that we should go to her place, and she of course obliged. The next day I went to the local head shop and bought 4x salvia. When my roommate was still asleep I mixed in the salvia with his pipe tobacco. He had never smoked salvia before. When he woke up finally morning I watched him smoke his pipe, and get the most horrified look on his face. I never told him he smoked salvia, and he dropped out of school because he thought he was insane.

Jeter Swallows, UConn

A friend of mine came to visit me with his then girlfriend in Europe for the summer, actually he was a good friend of mine that's why I felt really bad about porking his girlfriend while he was passed out on my bathroom floor after a night of heavy drinking in Berlin. The next day was like nothing happened and the girlfriend seemed to not care at all, I think I could have porked her again, anyway to ease my conscience I told her I wanted to take my friend to the campus-center really quick to check out some summer German courses. I took him to the red light district of Berlin instead and payed for the lady of his choice. So... after by my logic we're even, I didn't tell him about me and his girlfriend though but my conscience was clear.
Johnny Grunge, Berlin

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Worst. Date. Ever.

by CH Staff 2 days ago

Remember that date you went on a few years ago? You know, the blind date your now ex-friend set up? The one where Queen Muffintop showed up and refused to talk about anything but her horse (Mr. Big Lips) the entire meal? We know you've been trying to forget. But trust me, you're going to want to pull up those old memories.

In honor of the premiere of My Best Friend's Girl (in theatres September 19), we're looking for the worst date story ever. Wind up on a date with someone who constantly uses the royal 'we'? Send it in. Black out in a cab because of your date's farts? Send it in. Have dinner with a girl who apologized to her food for eating it? Definitely send it in. If your story is the worst, you'll win $500 to make it all worthwhile. Good luck!
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Parents Just Don't Understand

9/3

by Susanna Wolff 3 days ago

Do your parents not understand technology?Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace," "SpaceBook," or "The World Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!
Your parents' RAM.

I was watching "Jurassic Park" with my grandmother a few months ago. During one particularly scary moment she leans over to me and, with a very worried tone in her voice, asks, "The Dinosaurs...they're only for the movie, right, they didn't breed any extras?"

Logan Stagnitto, Vassar College

My dad needed directions to the place I work, so to make it easy for him I linked the Google maps directions I looked up and pasted it into an email. He responded a few hours later that the link was too long to type into the address box.
Mallie T, UVA

My mom's friend calls it a cell-o-phone.
Brian Lowe

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