Staff Picks: Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Articles, and Hotlinks on CollegeHumor

Columbus: The Planning Stages

from Owen Parsons 9 hours ago
Not pictured: slaves

From the Desk of Christopher Columbus

June, 1485-

Problem: Meat tastes pretty bad here. Friends agree. All the good spices are to be had in the East Indies, but the land route? Just awful. If only there were some other way...

Solution: Build a giant drill and bore through the center of the planet.

Materials:
1x Giant Smelting Pit
1x Casting Mold (Giant Drill-sized)
400 tons of yet-undiscovered miracle ore (meteorites?)
Slaves (many)

Procedure:
1)    Have slaves construct drill. Order them around, occasionally whipping them a bit to impress nearby ladies.
2)    Drill through easy-going European country (Holland).
3)    Emerge in East Indies spice market.
4)    Become rich.

Benefits:
1) Two points (straight line)
2) May discover lush subterranean utopia populated by a friendly and peaceful race of potential new slaves.

Drawbacks:
1)    Current slaves may escape into subterranean utopia.
2)    May get dirty.
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If Christopher Columbus had the Internet.

from Scott Hinners 11 hours ago

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Angel Grove Insurance Claims Inbox

from Andrew B. 12 hours ago

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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Anna

cute college girl
YearSophomore
SchoolFlorida State
Worst job you've ever had:
I've only had like one job. Ever. It was pretty amazing. I worked at a pool over the summer, not even as a life guard or anything. So basically I got paid to lay out in the sun all day. Sometimes though kids would come in with this summer camp and every once in a while we'd find poop in the pool and have to close down for the day. Gross. These kids were in like 3rd grade, too.
Have you ever met an internet friend in real life?
Actually, yes! And it didn't lead to abduction, surprisingly.
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Roommate Confessions

Issue 47

from Jeff Rosenberg 15 hours ago

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here.

Jeff, I know you check this site out everyday. Stop eating my cupcakes, maybe my toenail clippings I put in them Tuesday will stop you. Cupcakes are expensive.

Aldo Mora, School Not Given

Last year I lived in an apartment building off campus and on our floor there were a lot of other college students. Most of them were pretty cool but there was this one chick that just got on everyone's nerves. She was fat and so full of herself and got drunk with her fat friends and wandered the halls all the time. So one day while my friend and I were at a book store reading magazines we pulled out the little subscription cards from about 20 different magazines, filled them out to her address, and then checked "Bill me later". Well, she ended up being responsible for every one of those subscriptions (which totaled somewhere around $700, last that I heard). Still, it never failed to make me laugh out loud when I came home to see her monthly copy of "Quilting now magazine" sitting by her door. Fat b*tch.
Liz, School Not Given

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Audrina Partridge is looking fine like an exquisite dessert

17 hours ago
Audrina Partridge is looking fine like an exquisite dessert

Things I would eat for the opportunity to play 7 minutes in heaven with Audrina Partridge:

  • A slice of pepperoni pizza that fell face down in sand
  • A whole stick of butter
  • Broccoli rabe (it's gross, trust me)
  • A shoe
  • 13 flans. It'd be good at first, but by the 12th flan I'd be like "Oh God, more flan?" On top of that, it would ruin flan for me. I'd never be able to enjoy flan again

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How My New Label Maker Got Me Fired From Yankee Candle

from Scott Bennett 18 hours ago

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Today's BIG Thing

German Idol Death Metal Audition

A kid sings "I Will Kill You," by Cannibal Corpse on his first round German Idol audition, flawlessly. He later went on to win the contest and is now the biggest celebrity in Germany.

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World News Feed

from CH Staff 3 days ago
Bringing you the news each week, in a way you understand...
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Take Our Viral Video Quiz

from Streeter Seidell 3 days ago
Hey nerds.  Looking for something to do for the next twenty minutes?  Why don't you take CollegeHumor's Viral Video Quiz?!

We combed through the Web Celeb Hall of Fame and pulled out the finest bits of info we had.  Then we forced our interns to assemble all of that into a big quiz.  It's got three difficulty levels with 25 questions each.  You're scored on speed and perecnt correct.  Good luck!

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