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cute college girl
YearSenior
SchoolRutgers University
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
No. I went to Catholic school all my life so most of my teachers have been old nuns and priests. Noo thank you.
You know that noise Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor makes on Home Improvement? Try and type it.
Groogh groogh grogh..? I think?

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cute college girl
YearSophomore
SchoolHumboldt State
Funniest sex term:
Cockslap is pretty good, in the context of a tough love sort of situation.

Some people think that slacking off at work means concocting elaborate alibis about mysterious recurring dental ailments just to cautiously sneak out a few precious minutes early. These people are wrong. Slacking off can be as easy as falling off a log...while you're sleeping...and a powerful tornado is blowing you off the log. Choose any of these effortless tricks and you too can become a World Champion Slacker!

Follow this simple NASA model to make your periscope.
BossWatch3000
Build a periscope for your cubicle. By placing mirrors at precisely the right angle within a bent tube made of connected toilet paper rolls, you'll be able to be slack off from 9 to 5 without fearing an unexpected visit from the boss man. Nothing will help you relax at work like constantly monitoring your surroundings!

The Ol' Type 'n Switch

In your spare time, record yourself typing a 50-page paper (preferably a defense of the physico-theological proof of the existence of God in Kant's Critique of Pure Reason, though the work of any 18th-century German philosopher will do!). Then play the recording when you're at work. The sound of your diligent, thoughtful key-tapping will mask the violent stabbing of the space bar as you gleefully shoot at alien spaceships.

Now that Michael Phelps is an Olympian athlete of unheard proportions, let's take a close look at the efforts behind the man and how his daily training compares with the routines and actions of all our other favorite present-day sports stars.


Breakfast

Michael Phelps:
(in correlation with 8,000-10,000 calorie per day diet) 3 sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions and mayo, 1 omelet, abowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast, and some chocolate chip pancakes.

Mike Tyson: Smoked sausage, cooked ham, protein shake, dreams of others, small children

Michael Vick: Bread, water, a freshly tossed salad

Takeru Kobayashi: An entire Denny's



Do your parents not understand technology? Dothey ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages?Do they use words like "MyFace," "SpaceBook," or "The World Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding,
submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!
Your parents' Michael Phelps.

I used my parents laptop the other day and closed the lid once I was finished. This was apparently the first time anyone had closed the laptop because I got a phone call from my mom an hour later at work asking me "to not mess with the home computer and to put the screen back on when I got done with work."
Alex P.

My grandpa got a magic 8-ball during a gift swapping game at a familyChristmas party. We told him to ask it a question, and he held it up tohis mouth and asked "Where's Beijing?"
Charlie N, Penn State

When I was younger, my mom would tell me every night to get off the computer because "bad people go on the internet at night."
deana l.

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