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The Last Mario Party

by Brian Murphy 1 hour ago
Luigi: Sick party, bro.


Mario: Hell yeah. Good tunes, good people...I'm just stoked none of Bowser's crew showed up.

Luigi: About that...Now don't freak, but Koopa Troopa and a few of his boys just walked in.

Mario: What!? I'm about to WILE OUT.

Luigi: Chill dude, chill.

Mario: If that weak ass turtle comes near me, I am going to do the WORST thing I can possibly do to him.

Luigi: What's that?

Mario: Jump on him.

Luigi: Whoa, whoa. Just be cool. One of his boys is comin' over to us right now...

*Mario flexes at a ghost that is approaching them. The ghost covers its eyes and stops.*
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mmmMMMmmm Contestioka Pudding

by Jason Michaels 1 hour ago

CollegeHumor just got the best news ever! Just kidding, Teen Wolf 3 isn't being made...yet...but seriously, it's still really good! The makers of Harold and Kumar 2, which releases on DVD on July 29th, is looking to send you on a five day trip to Amsterdam.

It's too bad though, you probably have to film a video of yourself lifting a boulder off a bunch of school children to win that kind of a trip. Wait, you don't? Of course not, this is CollegeHumor! All you have to do is submit your craziest road trip stories, filled with bad decisions and ridiculous details.

Hmm...maybe I'll submit that time me and Grandma went to that apple farm. Best. Day. Ever! Anyways, you can submit your stuff here! Or here! Not here though. Just kidding.


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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Kristen

cute college girl
YearSophomore
SchoolSeton Hall University
So what's the best thing about babysitting?
The money definitely. No taxes taken out and what not.
And you probably get paid in cash, like a drug dealer right?
Exactly.
Awesome. What is the worst thing about babsitting?
When the kids don't listen to me... which is most all of the time.
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We Need Interns!

by Jake Hurwitz 4 hours ago
Our Summer interns are huge nerds and they wanna go back to SCHOOL soon. God what losers. Anyway, we can't dwell on what big dorks this current group of dweebs are. I'm writing to ask for your help. We need Fall semester interns. Here are our requirements:

  • A good sense of humor.
  • Familiar with CollegeHumor and other comedy websites.
  • Familiar with computers/the internet.
  • Up to date on pop culture.
  • Willing to learn and work with a team!
  • Live in, or within commuting distance of Manhattan. (NYC)
  • Not a loser.

And here are the kinds of things we'd have you do.


  • Help sorting and posting videos.
  • Write articles.
  • Upkeep the site, i.e. edit columns, caption pictures etc...
  • Brainstorm general ideas for the site, videos and BustedTees.

And all you have to do to apply is send a cover letter and resume to YesIWillWorkForFree@gmail.com. And please, remember not to swear at me in your cover letter. That's not how you get a job, even here.
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Ugliest Web site: rainbow dividers

5 hours ago
Ugliest Web site: rainbow dividers

The Internet has gotten very pretty. I blame blogs and facebook. Ordinary people no longer feel the need to pollute the tubes with ugly html to post pictures of their cat. It's a shame, really.

In honor of the days of geocities and angelfire, we're running the ugliest Web site contest right now in the hotlinks. Any site that looks like your computer vomited html at your screen is fair game. Winner gets complete embarrassment. So do the losers.

Today's entry is Rainbow Dividers, your one stop shop for uglifying your myspace profile. Be sure to try reloading the page, there is a terrible new background every time.

Link
http://rainbowdivider.com/
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Celebrity Now

Pop Culture CliffsNotes: July 25

by Sarah Schneider 6 hours ago
I am SO. BORED. Ugh. I want to go see a movie, but there is NOTHING out right now. I guess I'll go see Meet Dave. Wait, what? There's a new Batman movie out? No way! And it's broken every single record ever? Man. I am always the last to know. (DListed)

Not the last to know? Christian Bale's insane mother and sister, who have been waiting for this moment their entire lives. I'm sure you've all heard some watered down story of Christian Bale getting arrested for punching his mom in the face or something, but here's the story.

1. Christian Bale's movie made tons of money
2. Christian Bale's crazy mother and sister came to his hotel all liquored up
3. Christian Bale's sister asked for $200,000
4. Christian Bale said no
5. Christian Bale's sister insulted Christian Bale's wife or something
6. Christian Bale crushed both their heads.
7. JK, Christian Bale got pissed and cursed at them
8. They went to the police like a couple bitches
9. Christian Bale was arrested and willfully went in for questioning
10. Christian Bale is free.  Christian Bale wins. The end. (Celebslam, IDLYITW, DListed, IDLYITW, WWTDD)

James Blunt was also a winner this week.  Blunt, despite looking like a muppet and singing like a boy halfway through puberty, is still pulling hot naked chicks. Let this be a lesson to all of you. Anything is possible.(Celebslam)
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Caption Contest

7/25

by Susanna Wolff 7 hours ago

RULES: submit your one best caption as a comment. A COMMENT. No replies. No retries. Keep reading to vote on last week's best...
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105%

Issue #67

by 105%-o-matic yesterday

The truth is out there. At least that's what we were told.

There Will Be Blood is easily the best name ever for a period piece.
-Adam Newman
I feel bad for my friend, he's obviously getting married for all the wrong reasons. Like, he must think his fiance is good looking.
-Amir Blumenfeld
If professional golfers choose to take the day off or retire, would they start to do actual work?
-Owen Grove
An Unpopular Comedian
"I just flew in from the battered women's shelter and boy are my arms tired!"
-Ving Pranson
On Friday, Christian Bale pretended to be Batman, on Sunday he fought with his mom. He basically spent the weekend acting like me at 13.
-Patrick Cassels
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CH Live in NYC

from Streeter Seidell yesterday
CH Live in NYC

Just a reminder that tonight at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NYC CollegeHumor will be hosting its first stand up show. Things will get going at 9:30 and, once going, will feature Christian Finnegan, Jacqueline Novak, Pete Holmes and Jake & Amir. Jeff and I will host what promises to be, in the words of one fan, "An hour-long comedy show featuring comedians telling jokes on stage."


Reservations are sold out but there will be a standby line and tickets are just $5 if you're not in the first 100 through the door. Just be sure to get there early and wait it out on New York's beautiful public sidewalks (or, as the locals call them, "toilets").



Hope to see you there!

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Gotham City's Job Postings Over the Years

by Scott Bennett yesterday

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Features! Wastes of Time, Surveys, Contests and More!

  • Worst Sunburn Contest
    Submit by August 22nd 2008
    Worst Sunburn Contest

    Summer: the season known not only for awkward reunions and terrible summer jobs, but some of the most irregular and...

    [view more contests]
  • CH's Facebook Fan Page
    CH's Facebook Fan Page

    Declare your love for CH on Facebook. Check out behind-the-scenes pictures, interact with staff, find out about new features & events, and more. (It helps to login to FB before clicking.)

  • Jason Michaels's's Internship Blog
    Jason Michaels's's Internship Blog

    Jason Michaels, the Virgin Mobile summer intern, has been gracious enough to chronicle his summer adventures - in blog form. Click here to see the CollegeHumor offices through an intern's eyes.

  • Beer Pong vs Beirut
    Beer Pong vs Beirut

    Coke or Pepsi? Chocolate or vanilla? Beer pong or Beirut? These are the great questions of our age! Luckily, we figured out the answer to one of them...

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