A long, long time ago, sh*t was crazy.Watch Video ▶
Man's best friend might need some man's best counseling.View the Gallery ▶
Will the real Eminem please stand up against the Yeerks?View the Gallery ▶
Complains about having to go outside to smoke, and compares this legally mandated, cancer-preventing courtesy unironically to segregation. Tries to rally other smokers to his cause, though they never respond with "we have rights, dammit!" Goes through entire routine for every publicly consumed cigarette.
Has a big report or project due later that day, and is completely fried. Convinced that spending the time it takes to smoke a cigarette is an investment in working smarter and not harder. Only smokes when stressed and would not call himself a smoker. Smokes five times a week.
It's not that bad if you ignore everything about these people.View the Gallery ▶
We took the Top 25 lunches in the country right now, based on a highly subjective poll, and entered them into the BCS formula. The formula then divided each lunch by 2600, which is the maximum number of votes a lunch could receive, which revealed the BCS Quotient of each lunch.
BCS Selection: Fish Paddies with Enriched Seaweed Slurry
The BCS system is based on performance, and Fish Paddies with Enriched Seaweed Slurry contains the highest amounts of essential vitamins with the lowest amount of cholesterol and other harmful ingredients. Turkey Sandwiches, an undefeated fan favorite, are currently placed 17th due to strength of menu.
Excuse me? You don't have the product that I'm looking for? The one that I didn't call ahead to see if you had?
Well maybe if I JUST INCREASE THE VOLUME AND FURY OF MY DEMANDS, IT WILL MAGICALLY MAKE THE ITEM I WANT APPEAR.
STILL NO? WELL MAYBE IF I GET EVEN LOUDER AND ADD SOME FUCKING CURSE WORDS IT WILL ACT AS A SACRED INVOCATION TO SUMMON THE ITEM I DESIRE OUT OF THE AETHER.
OH YOU STILL DON'T HAVE IT?! WELL NOW NOT ONLY HAVE YOU LOST A CUSTOMER, BUT YOU'VE LOST A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF YOUR HEARING AND YOU'RE COVERED IN MY SALIVA.
I'll be back again tomorrow to see if it's in stock.
If laughter is the best medicine then get ready to robotrip.View the Gallery ▶