Half cheese, half pepperoni, half embarrasing.Watch Video ▶
With Hanukkah and Thanksgiving falling on the same day this year, let's take a look at some other holidays that should join forces.
Let's face it: Even though it has a good message, nobody likes Arbor Day. That's why we should give it a little boost by pairing it with a holiday so popular that its "season" takes up at least a quarter of the year at this point. Arbormas would basically just be the same as Christmas, only instead of cutting down our trees, we'd leave them in the forest to grow as nature intended and decorate them there. Also, instead of burning a yule log, we'd be subjected to a two hour lecture about our carbon footprint. God bless us, everyone!
Each of these holidays proves that "celebrating" a culture by getting drunk and indulging in tired stereotypes is really, really enjoyable. It only stands to reason, then, that desecrating two countries' heritages at once would be double the fun. So, c'mon, grab your favorite green poncho, belt out a mariachi version of "Danny Boy" and get totally and completely shithoused.
Your Bachelorette or Bachelor party excuse can't protect you now. Weirdos.View the Gallery ▶
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Ken M is an internet commenter who brings a uniquely moronic perspective to the issues of the day. Fueled by a winning combination of ignorance and confidence, Ken's insights range from the painfully dumb to the soul-crushingly stupid.