In case you haven't heard, Melissa Joan Hart tried to take a page from the Veronica Mars playbook and fund a movie of her own on Kickstarter. The plan failed spectacularly, raising only $50,000 of its $2,000,000 goal. The project was canceled two days ago, but the page is still up, so let's rip it apart, shall we?
Her motherclearly not an actress herselfsuggests she does this movie about a walk of shame, then, when Melissa Joan Hart doesn't know what that is, she defines it in a way that unnecessarily uses the phrase "booty call." Then, duh, she uses Sabrina magic to make the director magically appear. And then she begs "fans" to donate so she can be in a movie that won't remind people of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Right from the start, this project is f*cked.
L is for the way EVERYONE'S LOOKING COME ON HONEY NOW NOW NOW.View the Gallery ▶
Back in 1990, before 30 Rock and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip NBC considered picking up a different show about an entertainer managing a variety show in New York. Pretty normal, right? Did I mention that this entertainer happens to be a poorly-constructed marionette that looks suspiciously like Conan O'Brien? The pilot was never picked up, but you can watch the opening credits below. If the show was anything like the theme song, it was immediately off-putting, completely inane, and about twice as long as it should be.
In "Twidiots", we collect the choicest thoughts on a particular topic from Twitter's millions of users.
Ah, racial sensitivity. This country's come a long way with it, but it still has a ways to go. Our friends on Twitter might be a good place to start.
In honor of the return of Arrested Development, and the recent news that a lot of your favorite shows have probably been canceled this year, let us celebrate the shows that made it. The shows that were so exquisitely terrible that they got to stay on the air forever.
11 season. This saccharine, patronizing, and soul-crushingly unfunny show was on for 11 seasons. According to IMDb Trivia, when the pilot was shown to test audiences before it aired, it was utterly hated. And then the producers just decided to air it as it was, without addressing any of the things that made it so goddamn awful. That's pretty much how the series operated for all 11 seasons. Even when Jessica Biel, a teenage actor being paid lots of money to act, was so desperate to get off the show that she posed topless for Gear magazine, the producers never thought, "Hm. Are we making sh*t?" And all of that drama happened before the show got really, really bad, when every episode became a "very special episode," and they introduced that anti-semitic rabbi character, and those stupid twin kids whose lines were always said in unbearable speech impediment unison.
Fun fact: If you ever wanted to see Mrs. Camden's boobs, just to really stick it to this terrible, puritanical show, you can! Just watch the movie Eight Days a Week. But, fair warning, that movie is also terrible.
"As we go on, we remember, all the times you, embarrassed yourself in front of friends and family and also strangers" Vitamin C.
We hope you all make it through the ceremony without scarring your dignity forever. Save that for post-college unemployment.View the Playlist ▶