Home Page Archive
| Year | Sophomore |
| School | Charleston |
- Funniest sex term:
- Beat the Meat! My Nanny Peay is a great cook and every time she makes me cook and meat is involved, when she says "Now Hannah-Lee the next step is to beat the meat until....." I always crack up and she doesn't know why!
- What's the fattest fat person food you like?
- McDonald's french fries, it's just something about all that salt and grease that wins me over!
It's Jake's favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather...
- Say a popsicle stick joke every time you meet someone or a Snapple fact From Danny
- Get a hand job from the pokemon geodude, or get a blow job from charmander From ricky
- Work at the Max and be able to always have a threesome with Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa without being caught, or win over the hearts of every girl at Bayside High, but those three From Paul
- Have to chug every liquid you drink, or have to drink it through a twisty sprialy straw From Aaron
- Have too much salt on everything you ate or never have salt on anything you eat From Trevor
- Have a Mcdonalds in your house. or Live in the playboy mansion From Justin
- Eat three dozen normal sized cockroaches, or eat one giant cockroach the size of a housecat From Joe
- Have something stuck in your eye all day, every other day, or a dental floss lodged in the back of your throat forever From mike
- Put poop chapstick on your lips and rub them together, or use a poop cell phone until your next upgrade From sean
Finally, this week's winner of the I'd totally pay $10,000 for either of those Award is Optimus, who sent in this.
- Piss silly string or ejaculate those snakes that pop out of joke peanut cans? From Optimus
You'd have the coolest dick ever, and probably get arrested.
If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.
The Sexile Contract
The Civil War pretty much started because two people couldn't agree on something. Don't let that happen to you and your roommate. Get the Sexile Contract today and agree to its terms at once. Only by doing this will you be able to avoid a costly and protracted war of passive-aggressiveness with your roommate.
See More
Magic Growing Rock
It's not really magic, it's mercury thiocyanide. You've probably seen those little growing snake fireworks before. This is like that, but on a much larger scale. It looks like a demon growing out of the ground. Science is awesome.
See More
Inside the Cartridge: Duck Hunt
from Simon Rich October 01, 2008SCENE: GRASS PATCH RD.
-Thank God. The barrage is finally over.
-How many have perished?
- . . .
-Please, father. I'm old enough to know the truth.
-Thirty-six, son. Thirty-six of our fellow ducks . . . with thirty-six bullets.
-I don't understand. How could the killer have such perfect accuracy?
-Simple. He holds the gun so close to our bodies that it's physically impossible for him to miss us.
-But where's the sport in that?
-It isn't the challenge of the hunt that drives him, son. It's his sick thirst for blood.
-Jesus.
-There's more. It is said that the killer . . . is a child.
-Impossible.
-I'm just repeating what the elders have said.
-How could a child possibly have so much rage?
-I don't know. He clearly has emotional problems.
-How could his parents allow him to attack us like this, for so many hours a day and so many days in a row?
-They are blind.
-Good Lord . . . I think I hear something!
-It's starting up again.
-I hope he chooses to shoot clay discs this time.
-Hope is a dangerous thing, son.
Excerpted from Free-Range Chickens by Simon Rich Copyright © 2008 by Simon Rich. Excerpted by permission of Random House, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
| Year | Sophomore |
| School | Riverside Community |
- You know that noise Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor makes on Home Improvement? Try and type it.
- BUEEEHHH? Damn that was hard.
Recently I got the chance to interview the super sweet, super nice and super hot Big 10 Playboy girl Jamie Graham, a 21-year-old senior and Marketing major at Ohio State. We chatted it up on the phone for a bit, then after I thought she was getting a tad bit too into me, I just had to end it. On my terms.
Do your parents have any idea you posed in Playboy naked for the Big10 issue?
Umm...my mom does and I'm telling my dad tonight. I'm actually calling my dad after this interview to tell him.
Diora Baird lives up to her name
October 01, 2008
Diora Baird bared her soul for a recent photoshoot. By her soul, of course, I mean her gorgeous naked body. She shed her clothes and laid it all out for the world to see like a poem. These pictures are that poem, and that poem is about jugs.
Can you imagine how many boobs model photographers see? All of them. They see every boob. Every boob in the world. That has to be the best job ever next to astronaut, ice cream tester, trampoline tester, mad scientist and David Lee Roth.
And The Winner Is...
from CH Staff October 01, 2008College is all about change. In high school, you rarely skipped a day of class. Now you skip whenever remotely possible. In high school, video games were a post-homework reward. Now they're a way of life. In high school, you were athletic and clean cut. Now? Now you have a child-sized beer gut.
Over the past few weeks, with the help of Always Sunny, we've been running a Clean Cut to Beer Gut contest, looking for the best high school to college abdominal transformation. We got a lot of great submissions, and thousands of votes, but there can only be one winner. And the winner will be announced...right after this break.
