I was having sex with my girlfriend with the movie gladiator playing quietly in the background. She finished right before the epic scene which prompted me to raise my arms and yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"
The Perfect Effort VS Reward Ratio
"I found the perfect effort vs reward ratio, or EvR for short, this semester."
Epic Nerd Photobombs Hot Girl
She hasn't been seen since.
Cute Girl Internet Browsers
"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"
Insanely Flexible Pool Player
Using the bridge just seemed too easy.
Hooters Girls Don't "Do" Evil
Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.
Lindsay Lohan Inspires Kid to Find Himself
Leave that thing a-Lohan.
How Do You Study For Finals
At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.




Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.