I find your dowry of three sheep acceptable, you may marry my daughter.

You can keep the 30 cents.

From otiose321

The nature walk from Hell.

From whatsthedillpickle

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

You don't have to answer, your smile says it all.