I can only get sexually excited when I'm in public, and I'm peeing on a girl, and there's an animal, and my friend's taking a picture.

Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.

At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.

Leave that thing a-Lohan.

Looks like she's found a new workout for weight loss.

Who knew "Sounds of the Rainforest" could bring so much joy.

"Next time don't interrupt my nap, Mom."