Your girlfriend has crabs? That's nothin', mine has a bad case of the octopus!

Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.

From therealscumbagsteve

He has her tweeting out of the palm of his hand.

From Food Network Humor

Yo dawg, I heard you like talking about me.

From absolutelymadness

There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.

From xxlittlethoughts

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

Oh, children are sharks. This explains a lot.

From allenizabeth