A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
Going as someone who's going to hell.
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Little Girl Worried About Mommy
Dad used to be so fun. Apparently Mom still thinks he is.
Woman Uses Butt to Grip Subway Pole
You should see how she hails a cab.
Epic Nerd Photobombs Hot Girl
She hasn't been seen since.
Bikini Girl Rock Climbing
Once she reaches the top she has to defeat Miley Cyrus in a fist fight.
Cute Girl With Armpit Shark Tattoo
I don't blame her. I blame her brain.
Girl is Super Excited About Her Headphones
Who knew "Sounds of the Rainforest" could bring so much joy.
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
