I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More »
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Dear Person in My Bed
Yours truly, Person That Hates You
Cute Girl Internet Browsers
"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"
Woman Uses Butt to Grip Subway Pole
You should see how she hails a cab.
Facebook Abortion
Looks like she's found a new workout for weight loss.
Bikini Girl Rock Climbing
Once she reaches the top she has to defeat Miley Cyrus in a fist fight.
Hooters Girls Don't "Do" Evil
Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.




Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.