"He lost his dry eraser markers. He accused another guy of taking them, and then chucked a board at him. When he left, we nailed all the boards to his door. Also, it turned out the markers just rolled under the heater in the hall."

They're the two most popular girls in school.

They're slowly killing him by sucking all the joy away.

She hasn't been seen since.

"You're a wizard, hairy."

They have an "open that door--you better not be doing what I think you are in there" relationship.

"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"