The 11th Commandment (Probably the most important one)

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip

Searching for inner his inner chillness since his parents "finally got off of his back about graduating."

From tastefullyoffensive

You don't have to answer, your smile says it all.

Well, think it.

I like to imagine he's singing.

From bassman109